since you asked so nicely

and since you flatter me with your emails and comment, here it is. The much-requested Meet the Family, Part II

We'll start with my mom again. During the Family Speed Scrabble tournaments, she makes Baby crawl underneath our glass-topped table and tell her where all of the good letters are, and then wonders why her lectures about "winning isn't everything" never really sank in. While she can never remember where she put her cell phone, or where she parked the car, she always knows exactly how much and what kind of candy is left in all 10 of her "hidden" stashes.

When Dad isn't sleeping on his mattress in the bathroom, he sleeps next to his bicycle, which he keeps on a stand in his bedroom. When he loses Speed Scrabble, he goes outside to play with Cooper, (the dog), whom he insists we refer to as our "brother". Cooper is his favorite child, because Cooper always does what he's told.

When Brandon mentions how loud he thinks we are, Bethany pretends to agree, although she's by far the loudest of the group.

We're all very thankful that Brandon has finally admitted that he's bald, and has therefore given up on the comb-over.

Brother has stopped shoving gummy worms up his nose since he got married, for which we are all grateful. Every time I call, he pretends to have forgotten who I am, and honestly thinks the joke gets funnier every day.

Brianna very patiently helps Brother during our Speed Scrabble games, and is nice enough to let him believe he won on his own. This only happens when I'm not playing, though, because I'm still undefeated.

Then there's me. I am currently my mom's favorite child because I'm growing my hair out and I live the farthest away, so she has to pretend to love me the most when I come home.

I love Ashley mainly because she wasn't ashamed about sobbing for six hours straight when she received her mission call to Provo, Utah. She has successfully landed herself in the hospital during every family vacation, so going on a mission has saved my parents plenty of money in medical bills. I'm getting concerned about her because, not only does she believe her mission clothes are fabulous, but her letters are starting to sound more and more like New Era articles every week.

Since Bexar has chosen Annabelle for the name of her first daughter, she has moved on to picking out the cooking supplies she's going to buy when her husband's a rich doctor and collecting recipes so that she can make Shawn his favorite meals every night. Yes, she's still a newlywed.

Shawn has the kind of laugh that only his wife thinks is cute. I'm pretty sure his mom even thinks it's weird. So he majored in engineering, because there's really nothing funny at all about engineering. Seriously.

Baby just started her first job working at Sonic, and bases a successful night not on how many tips she gets, but how many phone numbers. She's going to prom again this weekend, and has therefore had to schedule extra time in front of the mirror to perfect her eye makeup.

We're a pretty fun bunch. Any other requests, Chris?