Thursday, June 22, 2006

i'm a great mother. and very smart.

So I took Marble* to get her pictures taken at The Picture People today. I decided that I would pretend to be my sister so that they would think that I was Marble's mother, and therefore had the right to take home photos of her. And it just seemed like it would make things easier. Unfortunately, I forgot that sometimes people ask questions, and when you're pretending to be somebody else, it's sometimes hard to come up with answers to said questions. So I walk in, and the questions start.

Super helpful worker girl: So, have you been here before?

Me (as my sister): Yup.

Girl: Okay, great. What's your last name?

Me: Reed

Girl (trying to look me up in the computer): Um, okay... What's your address?

Me: We live on Westheimer. Wait, no we don't. We live on the SH Parkway.

Slightly suspicious and much less eager to be helpful girl: Er, are you sure about that?

Me: Yes. Very sure.

Girl: Alright, what's your phone number?

Slightly embarrassed me: Um, hold on. Let me look it up. It's in my phone.

Girl: You don't know your phone number?

Me: Well, you know, I've never had any reason to call myself, so... And with everybody having cell phones these days, I guess there's just no need?...

Girl: Okay, well I'm not finding it. The name's Reed?

Me (doing a pitiful job of faking my identity): Oh, wait! No, it's not. It's Peterson now. Sorry. I'm still not used to the whole name change thing. I mean, I was a Reed for 26 years, so you know... It's been a hard transition. So... Yeah. The name's Peterson. Sorry.

So I officially can never go undercover for any reason ever again. Which was a sad discovery, because I've always thought it would be really fun to go undercover and act completely different and not be at all embarrassed about it because, surprise, it's not me!

*And no, my family has not joined in the name-your-child-after-inanimate objects trend. Her real name is Mabel. And she is gorgeous.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

i'm a sinner

Today during Sunday school, the teacher wrote "Honor" on the board and asked us what our first thought was when we saw the word.

My first thought: "Hey! That's Logan's sister's name on Gilmore Girls!"

Yes, my mind is definitely where it should be.

Monday, June 12, 2006

never again

I am never ever again allowed to step foot inside an Anthropologie. Their clothes are way too cute, and their sales are way too good. Sounds backwards? Yeah, I know.

And did you know that it's too hot to wear clothes in Houston?

okay, i'm finally back

And I made it to Houston in one piece. My trip involved 4 days of delays mainly because the state of Texas is impossibly slow, and a little bit because I failed to register my car when I was supposed to. (Namely, a year ago when the previous registration expired. Oops.) These four days ended in a two-hour trip to the DMV during which I tried my best not to scream when creepy DUI Philip asked me if I had a steady boyfriend in town, and if not, if I would be interested in having dinner with him sometime. He just had to ask. And I just had to say no way. I left with a newly-registered, legal-to-drive car and a brand-new status as an official Georgia Peach. (So said the super nice, not at all scary DMV worker.)

Day one of my trip involevd nine hours of driving, lots of Powerade Option fitness water, and one stop at the Mobile, Alabama IHOP to try out their new stuffed french toast. (Which, by the way, is not french toast at all. It's a donut with fruit on top.) I finally stopped for the night at a somewhat sketchy LaQuinta. And if anybody has ever wondered what it might be like to have somebody who is NOT housekeeping open the door to your hotel room at six o'clock in the morning, let me tell you, it is terrifying. If I were the kind of girl who swears, I totally would have. Instead, I acted like the composed adult that I am and hid under the covers.

So now I'm in Houston, and have spent my days playing lots of Peek-a-boo, a medium amount of making fun of Brandon, and a little bit of making fun of Bethany. I also attended one singles talent show, which involved less talent than America's Next Top Model, and made me realize that just because your mom sometimes tells you you're funny does not make you a stand-up comedian. Or a walk-around comedian. And if the walk-around comedian bit is your opening line, you should probably just go ahead and sit down. Which while a sit-down comedian may not be any more funny than a stand-up or walk-around comedian, it is much less embarrassing for everyone involved.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

still stuck in georgia

and not so happy about it.

I pretty much feel like this:

But I think I'm going to buy myself some Marble Slab ice cream. That should cheer me up a bit.