dear pennsylvania,

I'm just writing to let you know how much I've appreciated this time we've had together. These past two years have been my happiest ever, and I have you to thank for that. I was initally attracted to you because you are amazingly beautiful. Really, you're incredible. But besides that, you've treated me well for the most part. And amazing good looks and kindness are a difficult combination to find. You provided plenty of rain so that I could slide down your hills in my swimsuit, and you even let me swim in your lakes and run through your forests. And you didn't even give me allergies! You provided the snow on which I learned how to both cross-country and downhill ski, and in the summertime, you also somehow knew how to provide just the right intensity of sunlight so that I could tan without burning to a crisp. For all of this, I am very grateful. But don't think that I've forgotten the times you tried to kill me. Remember when I was driving to visit a friend, and you felt the need to push me out of my lane into oncoming traffic? Remember that? And there were several other times you pushed me off of the road and tried to slam me into street signs. I realize that I had not been giving you the love and attention that you deserve, and I may have said some unkind things about your winter winds, but I really feel that you overreacted. There are other, much gentler ways you could have let me know you were upset. Then there was the time you tried to trip me while I was jogging through your gamelands. That just wasn't necessary. I really don't need that negative influence in my life right now.

So I'm going to have to take a break from you for a while. It's not that I don't care. I still like you a lot. I just need a little space. But if you need me, you can find me in California, Moab, Chicago, North Carolina, or Peru, depending on the day.

I have some more bad news. Pretty soon, I'm going to have to leave you for good. I've found somebody else. His name is North Carolina. I call him NC for short. He's also amazingly attractive, and while he has problems of his own, I really feel like this relationship is going to work out great. Please don't be upset with me. I will always remember you very fondly, and will miss you when I'm gone.

Love always,

Poodle