read on

So Katie, who is a great girlfriend to the ear doctor and currently would rather be skiing than working, mentioned on Sunday morning that my posts have changed since I realized that people are actually reading this. My immediate thought was, "No. Not possible. I would never try to hide my feelings. I'm an open book!" and then began making excuses and trying to explain why my posts, while they may seem different, are really just exactly the same as they were before. But the truth is, they're not the same. She was right, and all of my excuses were just that - excuses. And pretty lame ones at that.

So. In an attempt to become the open book that I apparently think I am, I am revolutionizing the way I post. Because, the thing is, I really do want my friends to know how I feel. About everything. I hide my emotions not because I don't want them known, but because I'm afraid that people won't want to hear about them. I've tried blaming this insecurity on my past dating relationships (because, honestly, how can you expect me to be completely open with you when you behave either indifferently or critically every time I try?). But the truth is, it's my own problem, and up to me to fix it. So be prepared to dive into the deep, dark abyss of my mind. I hope you enjoy your journey.

Read on, friends.

*Disclaimer: Names may be deleted privacy's sake. However, the thoughts and emotions will be full and complete. And if you know anything at all about the situation, it shouldn't be difficult to figure out to what I am referring.