dear people for whom i am buying christmas presents,

Due to the slump in the economy, I am finding extra great deals this year. I have therefore found some extra fantastic presents for you all. Even though it really is just the thought that counts.

You are so welcome.

Love,
Poodle

Dear Ashley,

You're right. You deserve your own bullet point. In fact, you deserve your own post. I am thankful for you because:

• you know what a fudge turd is.

That's your one bullet point. I hope that's good enough.

Love,

Poodle

dear world,

Let it be known that my banana cream pie kicks your banana cream pie's butt.

So does my chocolate cream pie.

Love,
Poodle

ps - don't be intimidated. we can still be friends

things i am thankful for this week (in no particular order)

• my AP students, for all scoring 4s or 5s on their exam. They make me look really good.
• the recession. My job is stable and man, the sales are great this year!!!
• the recession again, because Bethesda restaurants implemented an "appetite stimulus plan" with lots of special deals last week
• pies. And lots of them. (4 to be exact, for a dinner with six people)
• cranberry salad. I'm making a double batch.
• my job.
• my roommates for making me laugh. especially when they walk out of the bathroom at the symphony with their skirt tucked into their underwear.
• people who are willing to drive to the outlets with me at midnight Thursday night to hit all the black friday specials.
• my sisters. and my brother, too. and the in-laws.
• my mom
• my hair, for really cooperating with me these days

the joys of teaching

So in my last period class, this kid named Ryan keeps farting. They're loud. And stinky.

So of course everyone acts like they're five year olds and laughs hysterically.

Wait, never mind. Everyone acts like teenaged boys and laughs hysterically. I'm ready for a break.

But after Thanksgiving break, I get to participate in our 2nd annual dodgeball tournament! It is the best fundraiser ever.

update

There are a few things that have been going on around here recently.

• Swim practice started last week. The team looks promising, as everyone is capable of staying afloat on their own. Not a single swimmer is relying on the lane ropes for their survival.
• The first day of practice, we got locked out of the pool. It was super fun. Then a kid's arm popped out of its socket. Don't worry, we popped it right back in. Apparently it happens to him all the time. He's now our manager.
• I give my final exam on Friday, and then I'm FREE for Thanksgiving break.
• But then my break is interrupted Tuesday night for our first swim meet. Rotten timing.
• I am going to see the Warsaw Philharmonic on Friday night.
• We built egg-drop contraptions in my class this week. They were only allowed to use straws, rubber bands, and tape. We threw them off the top of the stadium. They were awesome.
• I started my Christmas shopping this week. I totally want to keep the present I bought Ashley.

dear bethy,

I am coming to visit you on December 31. Please try not to work on New Year's day so I can play with you and your kids. And Brandon too, I guess.

I tried to tell you last night but you hung up on me.

Love,
Poodle

all i want for christmas (and my birthday) is...

a lot of things, actually. Which really isn't that surprising if you know me. But this year I could really use:

• Cello lessons. Erica and I want to take lessons together, and they're offered through my school for only $35/lesson! Not bad.
• A plane ticket to Houston to see Bethy, Bexie, and Brother. And the babies, of course. It's been way too long since I've played with the babies.
• Just about anything from Anthropologie. Or JCrew. Or a gift card to JCrew so I can use my awesome teacher discount that I get on every single purchase I make. Being a teacher definitely has its perks.
• A lightweight, waterproof North Face jacket (or similar). For those days when it rains and I still want to play outside. It happens.
• Rain boots. Some black ones or black/gray.

5 reasons i love my students

just because tomorrow is friday

1. They always compliment my shoes. Even though I own way too many.

2. Sometimes they just get so excited they can't help but shout in the middle of class. I'm not always sure what they're excited about.

3. They love the stupid games I make up for them to play.

4. They make fun of my dumb jokes. (Yes, teaching is really good for my self-esteem.) Turns out I've quoted Bring-it-On one too many times this year. (This is not a democracy, guys. It's a cheer-ocracy.) I didn't think that joke could ever get old. Apparently I was wrong.

5. They come find me during lunch so that I can settle the debate about who would be the better lead-singer for their band. I picked Harper, just because I like calling him Harp-dog. I'm pretty sure he secretly likes it when I call him Harp-dog, too.

election madness

The Redskins lost last night. And we all know what that means.... "Obama nation" it is.

Luckily, Laura went to Costco yesterday to buy food storage. You know, for when the riots break out and we can't leave our house for weeks at a time. Seriously.

Julie was so impressed with Laura's preparations that she wrote in her name on the ballot. So who knows, Laura just might be our next commisioner of education. Or something. Go Laura.

sweet revenge

One of my students got a ticket this weekend for yelling at another driver. He told that driver that his car was gay.

He thought that the cop was kidding about the ticket.

The cop was not kidding.

Deep down inside, this story made me really, really happy.

some politics

According to my co-worker, if the Redskins win their game tonight McCain will win the election.

If they lose, Obama will win.

And if Obama wins, our country will be an "Obama Nation" in the sight of the Lord.

Ha.

Sometimes I hate living in a political city.

the weekend

a few things I learned this weekend:

• Parents can be rude. Not to me so much, but still rude. I went to our girls' field hockey game on Friday, and was more than a little embarrassed about the comments that the mothers on both teams were making toward one another. Get a grip. They're sixteen-year-old kids, and it's just a game. Seriously.
• I still like rollercoasters. Yesterday was the last day that six flags was open, so Troy, Erica, Ryan and I went. Fun.
• There is a 70-year-old man in the Bethesda ward who finds great joy in fulfilling his wives fantasies. At least, this is what he told us all during testimony meeting yesterday. Then he realized how it sounded and got a little embarrassed. Old people are adorable.
• Teachers hate halloween. Next year, I'm giving a test on all holidays so my kids are forced to sit still. Hahaha.
• Squirrels love pumpkins. They ate the faces off of all of our jack-o-lanterns, and now they're just blobs.

by guest blogger Julie

Dear Poodle's mom,

Thank you so much for the marshmallow clown. And the caramel apples. (Both of them. I ate another while Poodle was at work today. Oh, the joys of unemployment!)

Since you were here, Poodle was on her best behavior and did not even yell at me for eating her food without asking. You really are the best.

Love,
Julie

spirit week

It is spirit week at our school. I love spirit week. Except for the fact that kids think that:

spirit week + work = a super mean teacher (that would be me)

They might be right, and I'm kind of okay with that. Just to show the kids that I'm not all 100% mean I have been participating in the spirit week festivities. Yesterday I came to school wearing head to toe blue and gold with a blue and gold flower on my head. Bullis Pride.

Tomorrow I am dressing up as a punk rocker.

Friday I am wearing jeans because, let's face it, I only have so much school spirit.

Dear mom,

You have clearly been spending way too much time hanging out with Ashley. There is no other explanation for the fact that you mailed me a picture of a big, fat, hairy butt.

I think it's time you hung out with me instead.

Love,
Poodle

on being a teacher

Something you should never, under any circumstances, ever say to your teacher:

Ms. Reed, if you could feel my nipple, you'd understand.

No.

No, no, no.

I'm still angry.

Dear Katie (aka white skinned goddess),

My friend Anne totally stalks your blog. She thinks you're pretty much a superhero. And now she thinks that I'm a superhero because I know you. That's why she agreed to be my friend.

Thanks for enhancing my social life.

Love,
Poodle

kids

So sometimes it's kind of frustrating when I'm mad at my students and then they go and make me laugh.

Like today, when my last class of the day had packed up their bags and stopped listening ten minutes early. And, sensing my frustration, Jake said: "Wow, Ms. Reed. TGIW."

So dumb. Yet so funny.

glorious

Now, I'm not trying to make anyone jealous or anything, but I don't have school tomorrow!

Wait. It gets even better.

I don't have school on Friday either!!!

And just to clarify, when I said I'm not trying to make anyone jealous, that was totally a lie.