Dear Boy,

No, this is not a note to all boys. In general, I really like boys. A lot. You're quite a delightful bunch, and a lot of fun to be around. But every once in a while, I run into one who is just a little too much. And so, in an attempt to lighten the situation, I write funny posts about the crazy things that he's done, and tell stories about his latest escapades. But there comes a point when it's really just not funny anymore. At all. So if you happen to be the boy who told me to throw away all pictures of myself in a swimsuit, or who tells me almost every day that he hopes that one day I'll be his wonderful wife, I have a few things to say to you.

LEAVE ME ALONE!

I think that about sums it up. Okay, so maybe I only really have one thing to say to you. When I said I didn't want to date you, I meant it. And when I agreed that we could be friends and hang out occasionally, I did not expect you to continue your offers to follow me to Georgia, or continuously bring up your suggestions that maybe one day I might decide I want to be your wife. I don't like having to remind you every day that you are not what I want. And I don't like the guilt trips I get when I want to go out with somebody else. Guess what? I have absolutely no committment to you. I told you this, but apparently you didn't listen. And guess what else? When a girl starts crying every time you call because she's just that frustrated with the situation, that's a bad sign. And that's your cue to back off. My entire life is changing right now, and is making me a little more emotional than usual, and I really don't need this right now. Okay? Becuase I'm having a hard time coming up with funny posts, and have let down my blogging audience. So if you won't do this for me, at least do it for them. Thanks.

I know that you have read 15 parenting books and are so excited for me to have your children. How do I know this, you ask? Because you've told me 15 times. At least. And I also know that you're rally funny, but I'm just not seeing your sense of humor for some reason. I think you've mentioned that about 20 times. And that's great. It really is. But for now, I need you to back off. I tried the "let's be friends" approach, but apparently you don't understand that.


Thanks,

Poodle

But on a brighter note, my hair has been looking really fabulous the past few days. And have I mentioned that I never have to take a final again, as long as I live?