shout it out

I think my voice has increased several decibels since I started teaching. Because my classroom is huge, my students are loud, and my voice is (was) soft. And so I spend eight hours of my day shouting so that when my students don't listen to me at least they can't use the "I couldn't hear you" excuse. It forces them to be a little more creative and come up with reasons like "well, Ms. Reed, your shirt is really cool today, and I was thinking about how much I liked it so I missed your explanation of our lab." And I love flattery and firmly believe that cleverness should be rewarded, so I repeat myself yet again.

But I've started to notice that I now feel the need to shout everything I say. It doesn't even feel like I'm shouting. I yelled at a man at the mall last week when he asked me how I was. And then he looked confused because I was smiling and telling him how fantastic I am, but relayed the information in a terrifyingly loud voice. And then I yelled at the man who opened a dressing room for me at the Gap. And at Tony, the student that I ran into at Kroger.

So the conclusion I've come to is that I need a vacation. A quiet one during which I can whisper and still be heard. And have my own personal chef (aka my mom) so that I eat something better than peanut M&M's for dinner. And get more than 4 hours of sleep a night. And have my own personal maid (aka my mom) to wash my clothes and clean up after me. And buy me nice things. And I think that's all I need.