Saturday, November 13, 2004

Happiness Comes in a Box

We all want to be happy. And we're lucky. Our country recognizes that the pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right. So why aren't we happy? Why is suicide the tenth leading cause of death for Americans, and depression cases higher than ever? Advertisers sell their products by convincing us that happiness comes in a box. Look young, have great hair, and own fun toys, and you'll be satisfied. And we buy into it. I recently started using anti-wrinkle cream. I'm twenty-three years old, and already using anti-wrinkle cream. Does that disturb anyone else? But I still use it, in hopes that just maybe, when I'm fifty, I'll still look thirty. Is there something inherently wrong about being fifty? Or about actually looking your age? I don't know, but I've certainly joined the battle against it.

And then there's the Don't Worry, Be Happy attitude. Disney so kindly made Hakuna Matata a household phrase. Responsibility is boring, work is boring. Have fun, play, do what you want, and happiness will walk right up to your doorstep and invite itself in. Simple, right? But fun costs money, and since work is boring and sucks all of the joy right out of you, maybe happiness is harder to come by than we thought. But that's where credit cards come in. Oh, the beauty of a credit card. Buy now, pay later, no worries. Has anyone ever wondered why the average American has over eight thousand dollars in credit card debt? That's up five thousand dollars in the past ten years, and steadily increasing.

Overall, I consider myself a happy person. But certain moments have still been more contented than others. Such as the present, for instance. I don't have a lot of money, I'm apart from my family and many of my friends, but I'm happy. Happier than any other time I can remember. But why? What makes the present so different from the past? It's my heart. Scraping away external influences, breaking down my barriers I've built out of fear, figuring out where I want it to be, and getting it there. Working to get it there. And then following my heart, and knowing that it won't lead me astray. Knowing that, although I may not be exactly where I want to be, my heart is where it should be, so I'm headed in the right direction. And because of that, I can finally trust myself. I can trust that my decisions are the right ones. Yes, I use anti-wrinkle cream, but I'm happy with where I'm going, even if it involves a few wrinkles. They're called laugh lines for a reason.

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