Thursday, February 10, 2005

how not to charm a woman

conversations that probably never should have taken place, but did.

him: I want you to be my girlfriend.
me: I'm sorry, but I can't do that. I'm just not attracted to you.
him: Okay, well then, I'm going to ask you not to date anyone else for the next six months. That should give you enough time to fall in love with me.
me: You have GOT to be kidding me.

him: Hey, happy birthday!
me: Wow, thanks for remembering!
him: Well, did you get the present I sent you?
me: No, but I'll check the mail as soon as I get home.
him: Oh, don't bother. I didn't send anything.
me: Oh. Thanks, anyway..

him: Wow, you really should not ever wear those jeans.
me: Silence. For the rest of the evening.

him: You want to marry me.
me: What?? No, I don't.
him: Yes, you do. I know you do. All I have to do is ask. Of course, I'm not going to, but still. If I did, you'd say yes.
me: Well, I didn't want to before, but after that charming speech, how can I resist?

me: (towards the end of a date) Can I use your restroom?
him: No. You should have gone while we were at the concert.
me: What? Seriously?
him: Yes, seriously.
me: Wow.

him: I just hurt you pretty badly. You should be crying right now. I know you want to. So why aren't you?
me: Right. Bye.

him: Wow, you looked really terrible this morning.
me: Um, yeah. I know. Thanks for reminding me.
him: Well, do you want to have dinner with me on Friday?

me: Sometimes I worry that people think I'm boring.
him: Yeah, I can see how they'd think that.
me: Thanks a lot. Really.

5 comments:

Katie said...

Wow, those suck. Were they all said by the same guy, or different ones over time?

poodle said...

fortunately, different ones over time. although a few can be attributed to the same man. i really fall for the charmers, i know.

Anonymous said...

I hope none of those were me?

~Bryan

poodle said...

no, bryan, none were you.

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... Fat mature older ugly woman Vacuum cleaner guide Prepaid phone card jordan Free teen sex images story Stimulating ring Men&aposs skin care products girl in skirt anal fucked Fat black girls having sex blonde sucking tits make up for blondes Free keypress ringtones for samsung a300 Vannesa blue the black pornstar Brushes by karen pdf cosmetic brush pricing pilates bootcamp optoma projector hd81 blondes annal gratuit body building supplement for woman