i'm getting married!

well, that's what my family thinks anyway. According to my mom, this is my year. She just knows it. Who she thinks I'm going to marry is beyond me. But it's going to happen. Next Christmas, to be exact. And I spent 7 minutes of my ten-minute Christmas phone conversation convincing my missionary sister that yes, I remember I pinky swore that I wouldn't get married while she was gone, and no, I am not going to marry ______ or ______, so she need not worry. She should have known that if she had to ask about two separate men, I couldn't possibly be serious enough with either one to justify marriage. I know I'm a total sucker when it comes to charm and romance, but I'm not that dumb.

Now, I'm not one to get really excited about the bouquet toss at weddings. Well, I pretend not to, anyway. Although secretly, it's my absolute favorite part of most receptions. So, at last month's wedding, I fulfilled my obligation as a single woman and stood in the crowd of girls all prepared to claw each other for the chance to grab at the much-coveted bouquet. I had already made a complete and total fool of myself with my Napoleon Dynamite-style dance routine (which, by the way, left my entire family in tears from uncontrollable laughter, and earned me $15 from my brother-in-law, who didn't think I'd have the guts to put on such a performance.) So I stood on the periphery of the group, prepared to watch everyone else make a fool of themselves. My mom had other plans. She cheered from the sidelines and coached the bride to ensure that I would be the one to catch the bouquet. It worked. The flowers hit me right smack in the face. Hard. Who knew a bundle of plants could be so heavy?

So, you're all invited to my wedding next December. Potential grooms should send in their resume as soon as possible.