For all the Men out there

Women. We're not THAT complicated are we? I mean, all we really want is for you to read all of our subtle hints, and know what we're thinking and feeling every second. That's not that much to ask, is it?

Well, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. You don't actually have to read our hints or know what we're thinking all the time. In fact, we don't even know how we feel half the time. What we really want is to know that we're cared about. Okay, so I'll admit that maybe, just MAYBE it's sometimes hard to know exactly how to show girl that you care. Well, maybe it's really hard. Our emotions are complex, we read into things way too much, and, let's face it, sometimes we even baffle ourselves. So here are some hints to help you out. They're not foolproof, but will definitely help.

1. Physical and emotional affection are very interconnected for women. If your girl is sad, hug her, hold her for a while, kiss her, and ask her if she's okay. You don't need to say anything really profound or insightful. Simply feeling your arms around her is often enough to soothe and comfort her. Then maybe she'll be ready to talk about what's bothering her. Or maybe not. Sometimes we're sad and don't exactly know why. (This frustrates us, too, so you're not alone in that.) So if she doesn't pour her heart out to you right away and tell you all of her troubles, it's okay. Whether she tells you or not, I promise that she will appreciate that you were concerned about her feelings and willing to hold her while she cried.

2. Please, please, please do not be critical. For the most part, we are very aware of our weaknesses and critical enough of ourselves. I realize that there are exceptions to this, but for the most part, we are well aware of our imperfections. Now, I don't expect a man to think I'm perfect. It's actually nice to know that he knows I'm not perfect, but he loves me anyway. Women want their boyfriends to be a major part of their support system. Meaning, if you notice that she's struggling with something, instead of pointing it out (BIG MISTAKE), try to think of ways to help her overcome it. Trust me. This can go a LONG way in winning a woman's heart. If she's a decent girl, she'll recognize your efforts. And be grateful that you care enough to help her. It allows you to let her know you recognize what she's struggling with without hurting her by pointing out so blatantly what she's doing wrong.

"Hey, did you know you're not perfect? Really? You did? Hey, so did I."

Yeah, thanks.

3. Do not assume that she's going to make the same mistakes over and over again. Even if she's made the same mistake over and over again in the past. As I mentioned before, she's probably very aware of these mistakes, and is trying to change. Sometimes that change is really slow. Agonizingly slow, even. But she needs to know that you believe in her. That you know that she's trying to change, and that it is possible.

4. Every once in a while, ask her what you can do for her. Tell her you appreciate her, and that you want to know if there's something - anything - that you can do to better show her that you care. Now, you may be a little hesitant to try this out. I mean, seriously, if we get creative, we could probably come up with all kinds of things for you to do for us. (Such as buy us extravagant gifts, wait on us hand and foot, etc.) But most likely, that won't happen. She'll probably just be thrilled that you cared enough to ask. And, like I said, all we really want is to know you care. See? I told you we're not that hard to figure out.

5. Don't be afraid to compliment her. If she looks particularly good one day, let her know. If you're impressed with something she's done, tell her! You don't have to make stuff up just to make her feel good. If you don't like her outfit, don't lie to her and pretend that you do. But if a nice thought enters your head, share it with her.

6. Okay, now, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but sometimes, "IT" just isn't there. What is "IT", you ask? Beats me. I've been trying to figure that out for years. So, if anybody knows, please, enlighten me. I'm very curious. The truth is, no matter how much you like a girl, how nice, caring, attentive, etc. you are, sometimes she won't be interested. It's painful, I know, but it's the truth. Now, I know that telling you "you deserve somebody who will love you back" won't make it hurt any less. Rejection hurts. A lot. Trust me. That's something that both men and women have to deal with. Some experience it more than others, but just about everybody has felt that pain at one point or another. I've been completely, totally, head-over-heels in love before. And he liked me enough to date me! Perfect, I thought. Love conquers all. If I just love him enough, and am nice enough to him, I can convince him to love me back! Besides, love is supposed to be completely unselfish. So as long as I treated him well, that's all that mattered, right? Well, kind of. Everyone deserves to be treated well, so I don't regret doing that, even though it didn't convince him to love me. Was it worth trying? ABSOLUTELY. It feels good to be in love. I have lots of great memories with this guy, and will always be grateful for the time I had with him. But in the end, everybody needs to be loved. Even me.