some hilights

So my new school is pretty darn cool, for many reasons. Like the fact that my department head has been bragging to everyone she talks to about how awesome she thought my job interview went.

Or the fact that I have an average of 13 kids in my classes. Ahhh.....

And then we have a few famous students (or rather students with famous parents.) Like the owners of a rather large candy company that makes little bits of chocolate with hard candy shells. Or the kid whose parents founded a program that brings recent college grads into inner-city schools to teach. Or the owners of a major hotel chain. Am I intimidated? Yup. But I'll never tell them that.

i start my new job tomorrow!

Wish me luck.

Even though all I have to do tomorrow is get an email account and a tour of the school and my first paycheck. (And sign up for a retirment account, since they match my contribution. I love this school!) Oh, yeah. And I have to let them take me out to a fancy dinner. So I'm pretty sure I like this new job already.

here's something weird

So after I packed up my apartment, I walked down to Wal-Mart, because my fridge was empty and my car had a U-haul attached to it, which makes it a whole lot of zero fun to drive.

So the point is, I walked to Wal-Mart for some food. And saw one of my old college professors. Not so strange unless you consider the fact that I went to college on the other side of the country. But there he was, my very first engineering professor EVER. So strange.

moving is a delight

especially when you're moving somewhere fun. I have accomplished so much since I left Houston last week. Such as:

• Selling my car. Have I mentioned how much I love craigslist?
• Packing everything I own into a small uhaul trailer.
• Scoping out all the good malls in the DC area. There are too many to count, really
• realized that hiring movers is SO worth the cost. I am not touching another box until it is sitting safely in my bedroom.
• Found 3 routes to my new school, which is even prettier than I had remembered

moving

Tomorrow, I am headed back to Georgia for the very last time.

And Wednesday, I am headed to DC for pretty much forever.

and that is the end of my story.

thanks, mom!

Want to hear a really great story? I thought so.

After eight years of living in different countries, my mom decided it might be kind of fun to live with her husband. Pretty neat idea, if you ask me. So now my mother is pretending to love living (with her husband) in Mexico, where she spends her days hiding from the maid, wishing she had chocolate chip cookies, and trying to learn Spanish.

So, as it turns out, there was no need to take a car to Mexico, and since my mother is apparently emotionally attached to this car, she didn't want it to "leave the family", despite the $15K she could have sold it for. So that's where I come in. Is sentimentality really worth $15,000? Sure, why not. And that is why my mom is the best. And that is why my dad is still rolling his eyes.

stressed

I am moving to DC in 3 weeks. Do I have a place to live yet? No.

The beautiful apartment I posted about fell through. And nothing else is quite as beautiful, and nobody wants to rent to me if they haven't met me. So rude.

and then there was the time we almost got robbed

Also in Costa Rica. Don't worry, it's not as dangerous as I'm making it sound. And remember that these stories always involve the word almost, which means none of these events actually happened. They just could have.

But we did almost get robbed, when we stopped at a cafe for breakfast on our way to the airport. And since it was such a lovely day outside, we sat at a booth on the sidewalk with Ashley's backpack on the seat next to her, pretty much asking someone to steal it.

And someone did. Or tried to, at least, until she chased them down and the cafe owner threatened to kill his accomplice if he ever came back and there was a general ruckus in the street. (All in our defense, of course.)

So the moral of the story is, Costa Rica is awesome.

so pretty!

I think I'm going to be living here starting next month. It's tiny and overpriced, but I get it all to myself, and it's in one of the best areas in the city!

check this out!

I think every state should do something like this:

No Child Left Inside

In an attempt to get kids outside and active, the state of Connecticut sponsors a scavenger hunt where families search for clues at all the different State Parks. So cool!

Costa Rica

It's pretty much the greatest thing I've ever seen.

And I really do have lots of stories to tell, which start with this. I almost died. And not in the oh-this-place-is-so-beautiful-I-feel-like-I've-died-and-gone-to-heaven kind of dying, although that aspect was certainly present. I'm talking about the real kind of dying, where they'd have to find someone to replace me at my job, and my plastic utensils and books and other valuables would be divided up and whatnot.

It's my own fault, really. We tried out the touristy beach and realized after about 2.2 minutes that we are not really "beach" people. So we found another, more secluded beach with iguanas and crabs and monkeys and the whole deal, and got so excited about watching the iguanas eat the crabs that we failed to notice the tide was coming in and washing our stuff away into the deep blue ocean.

But then we noticed. And then we noticed the jagged boulders separating us from safety. And then we panicked.

So now we're definitely not beach people.

So i've been gone for a while.

Oops. I would apologize, but I'm not really that sorry, mainly because I was off doing stuff that's way cooler than blogging. Seriously.

Like flying up to Colorado for Katie's wedding, which was beautiful and a lot of fun, even though I was late on account of my not bringing my invitation and forgetting when exactly everything started. So I was off finding great deals on DC-appropriate clothes, which was great but not quite as great as being on time for the ring ceremony would have been.


But once I made it to the wedding, I ate some cake and caught up with Alan, whose life is filled with things way more important than blogging or reading blogs. Which is a good thing, because I have a limited repertoire of stories, and I could tell him all of the stories that I tell here, and he thought they were all brand-new and just for him. They weren't.

policy

So I decided recently that I eventually want to go into educational policy. Good thing I'm moving to DC. I mainly want to do this because our current educational policy basically sucks. My friend, who teaches at a public school, sent me an email saying:

the 2 students I was most concerned would not pass the end of course state test and hurt my stats have been arrested and kicked out of school. So now I can reach my goal of 85% passing.

Which I found particularly odd, because I thought that no children were being left behind these days. Huh.

road trip

So I went out to San Antonio this week to visit my mom, because she was bored and lonely and has a really great chocolate stash. Now, my parents have a kayak, because we are fun kayak kind of people, but since they are moving and becoming fun Mexican people (which does not involve kayaks, but is a completely different kind of fun that I'm not sure I'll ever entirely understand) we decided to strap the kayak on to the top of the car and drive it out to my brother's apartment. He is not moving to Mexico, and therefore plans on remaining a fun kayak person forever.

So we tied the kayak down, using my dad's oh-so-precise directions to "mess around with it until it looks right". He forgot to mention what "right" looks like, but we did figure out that the straps should probably be attached to the car somehow, and that simply closing the straps into the door wasn't quite enough, which made me feel pretty good. So we took off, with the kayak on the car and the chocolate stash on my lap.

And everything was going just fine until the kayak decided to slip off the side of the car so it was hanging precariously outside my window. Now, I'm no kayak expert, but I was pretty sure that this is not what "right" is supposed to look like, so my mom pulled over a whole foot and a half off the freeway (she values my life very highly) so that we could fix the kayak. This was pretty exciting, because it left a whole 12 inches between my head and the 75-mph traffic whizzing by. (My mother knows I love an adventure, and was worried that my trip hadn't been as adventure-packed as I like. So this is how she made it up to me. She's nice.)

At this point, my bossy side came out, and we strapped the kayak on correctly, and made it the rest of the way with no incident.

break

So after school ended, I totally needed a break from everything. So I took one.

But I'm back now, and can fill you in on my plans for the near future that will more than likely make you jealous. And if they don't it's because you're boring.

First, I am heading out to Colorado for Katie's wedding. Which will be awesome.

And then, I am going to Costa Rica for a week of excitement, which will include the following:

• Fly in at around 2:00, pick up the rental car and drive to la fortuna to see the live volcano
• soak in the hot springs while we watch the volcano explode
• hike Cerro Chato, a dormant volcano with a lake in the middle.
• go mountain biking or to the national park to hike on old lava flows
• drive to monteverde to do the zipline/canapy walk and see the cloud forests
• drive to the coast, go to the national park and see the crocs
• go to manuel antonio, go to the beach and hike the rainforests
• go to the gold museum and national theater
• possibly make friends with the researchers so they will take us out on their boats to see the turtles

So Costa Rica has way more to do than sit on the beach, which is what somebody who will remain unnamed implied.

so busy!

There are so many things I need to do before I leave this town forever on SATURDAY!!!

these include, but are not limited to:

• having lunch with my friends
• finish packing
• sell my car (Luckily, several of my students are interested, so this may not be as hard as I thought!)
• re-paint my apartment
• clean my apartment
• grade 62 lab reports
• clean out my classroom
• attend the end-of-year faculty party

It doesn't look like much when it's all written down. That makes me smile.

last day

Remember how on Monday, teaching was not good for my self esteem? So do I.

Today teaching was good for my self esteem. Mostly because it was the last day of school.

And because my fifth period class hung signs all around the room telling me they loved me.

And left me a note telling me how happy they are that I've found a place to move that I'm so excited about, but they will miss me and learned so much and asked me to promise that I will never love another class more than theirs.

I promised. Mainly because this is the class:
Notice how there are only ten of them? Yes, that is the whole class. And that is what we call a dream come true.

sometimes teaching is good for my self-esteem

And other times it is not.

Today it was not.

shopping profile

Because, as shallow as it is, I love clothes.

Favorite item to shop for: shoes. (Or plane tickets, if we're talking outside the realm of clothing.)

Least favorite: jeans. They're either too expensive or don't fit right.

Most difficult to find: dresses. I want one I am madly in love with, but it remains elusive.

Favorite time: whenever there's a sale.

Something I refuse to do while shopping: pay full price. Ever. This is non-negotiable, unless it's a very special occasion, or something that just doesn't go on sale (like makeup).

Favorite Purchase: cream-colored (fake) snakeskin shoes from Ann Taylor. $20, thank you very much.

Items I rarely shop for: Bras. Music.

i am DONE

So today was my last real day of teaching.

Depending on how you look at it. And since I've always been a glass half full kind of girl, I'm looking at it as my last day teaching. Even though we still technically have a week and a half of school left. But that's pretty much not the point.

The point is, today was my last real day of teaching.

Because tomorrow we have mandatory silent reading, which does not involve teaching, and then Thursday and Friday we are watching The Incredibles, which also does not involve teaching, but merely involves eating Chelsea's famous chess cake. (Which is to die for, by the way.) And making notes of the physics mistakes involved, which, considering there is an invisible girl in the movie, should not be too hard.

So yes, today was my last day of teaching. Unless you count the two days we are spending learning about Einstein's theory of relativity. (The special one.) Which I do not count, being the glass is half full kind of person that you now know I am. And because my students begged (yes, begged) me to teach them this unit, and teaching kids stuff they want to learn about doesn't count as work. It's a good thing that my one superpower is the ability to make teenagers like physics.

9. 9. 9. 9. 9. 9.

This is the number of days of school left this year.

Which is about all I can take, considering today a student stuck a paper clip in the power outlet and nearly caught the classroom on fire. And then told me he was just tying his shoe, and the outlet threw a spark at him for no apparent reason. Right.

how to be happy and have fun

Step 1: Attend Happy Fun Day. (Formerly known as "Positive Attitudes Day" before we realized that the one surefire way to invoke negative attitudes in teenagers is to force them to attend an event called "Postive Attitudes Day".)

Step 2: Challenge your students to the Bungee Run. Beat them all. Ignore the fact that you are supposed to be the mature adult and gloat for hours. Then go home.

placing bets

Who thinks I can survive the next three weeks on $40?

Because that is exactly how much cash I have at the moment, and what with the moving and the exorbitant price of living in DC, and the exorbitant price of moving my furniture up to DC, and my upcoming trip to Costa Rica and whatnot, I'm trying to not spend money. That would throw off my carefully planned budget, the one that I created based on the amount of money I actually have in my account at the time.

Based on the fact that my freezer is currently stocked with corndogs and chicken nuggets, and that my school is feeding me more than once in the next few weeks, and the severe lack of shopping in this little town, and the fact that I can be alarmingly stubborn when I so choose, I'm pretty sure I can make it.

Who wants to place bets?

overbearing parents

Sometimes make me laugh. Especially when they try to do their child's homework for him, and do it wrong.

Apparently having a college degree does not ensure that you can pass high school for your kid.

craigslist

There are so many reasons that I love craigslist. So many.

There are so many reasons, in fact, that I spend my hour-long "planning period" every day perusing craigslist. And posting items that I might want to sell.

And then, just when I think that this might make me lame, because I do not want to be the sort of person who peruses the same website for hours on end when she clearly has other, more productive ways of spending her time, I get an email from a guy named Lee who wants to buy my washer and dryer for the price that I asked.

And then I get another email from a girl named Rachel who wants to sublet my apartment for the summer for the price that I asked.

And then, after a full month of believing that any location within 15 minutes of my new school is way out of my price range, I find an apartment in the basement of a very nice house in a very nice area just five minutes from my new school, which is within my price range. And this basement apartment happens to have its very own washer and dryer, so Lee can go ahead and buy mine from me.

And then I realize that maybe perusing the web for hours is not such a waste of time. Except when it is.

one more reason to be happy

Besides the fact that Brother received an offer on his house. Great for him, but not nearly as exciting as the fact that

I am going to COSTA RICA this summer!!!

reasons to be happy

• I receive my first paycheck for my new job on July 15
• Even though I receive my first paycheck for my new job on July 15, I do not have to start work until August 20
• I receive my last paycheck for my current job on July 30
• Even though I get paid June 30 and July 30 for my current job, I do not have to work after May 26.
• Which means I receive two paychecks for the month of July without even working during the month of July.
• 14 days of school left.
• 9 days of real class before we start reviewing
• 7 days of real class before we start evaluating the physics of Superman in my Freshman class.
• Craigslist
• I am almost finshed packing my apartment.
• 1 month left until I move!
  

the good, the bad, and the ugly

I gave my physics students a project a while ago to design something useful using their newfound understanding of heat transfer. Some of the projects were excellent. Some were not so excellent. Here are a few of the highlights:

GOOD:
Turkey defroster that contains a pressure sensor and temperature sensor to automatically de-frost a turkey. This can double as a cookie cooling rack, and the temperature sensor will activate a fan instead of heater. Pretty awsome.

An alarm clock that cooks your breakfast for you after you hit the SNOOZE button. She built the thing and got it to ACTUALLY WORK!! Incredible.

A sensor that reads the temperature outside and rotates the clothes in your closet accordingly. On hot days, you will be greeted with a fine selection of summer tees and shorts. On a blustery winter day, you will awake to an array of turtlenecks and wool pants. They were definitely appealing to my tastes here.

The Bad:
The solar oven whose design was copied straight from the first website that pops up when you google "solar oven". No, I was not born yesterday. And I am a champion googler, thank you very much.

The Ugly:
A microwave utilizing a bi-metallic strip. Apparently she's never used a microwave before. Metal + Microwaves = bad news.

A device that automatically turns your computer on for you. Unfortunately, to get it to work, you have to spit on it. You know, I'm not sure it's that difficult to just hit the ON button.

Halleluiah!

Is not something that Catholics are allowed to say during Lent.

And since I work at a Catholic school, I am made aware of these things, and I pass that knowledge on to my students so that they all know that I am Catholic-friendly.

But sometimes I wish I hadn't shared this with them, because it turns out I say Halleluiah a lot. Like when teenagers do dumb things. And then they stop doing dumb things, and it just makes me so happy I have no choice but to shout Halleluiah!

And that may or may not make me a sinner.

so in the Denver airport

As I was traveling home from my Seattle job interview, I saw my old friend Steve. The Steve that I haven't seen for almost two years and is now married to a girl who would not allow him to send me a wedding announcement, because I might send them a Bed, Bath and Beyond gift card or something else equally inappropriate. (And yes, a Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift card is highly inappropriate, what with the words Bed and Bath in the name.)

And as he walked by, he was preoccupied with finding his flight and whatnot, so he didn't see me. So I made sure I wasn't going to miss my flight, and followed him through the airport because the chances that you would run into an old friend in the Denver Airport of all places are so slim that I couldn't just let this opportunity pass me by. Plus, he is married to a girl who would not allow him to send me a wedding announcement, so I'm pretty sure this is the only chance I would ever have to speak to him.

So I followed him to his gate and stood in front of him waiting for him to look up and recognize me and start a conversation, so that I could not be accused by his wife of starting a conversation with a married man. And then he looked up, and started talking. And it wasn't Steve. Although I'm almost convinced that he was disguising his voice so that he wouldn't have to talk to me, because other than the voice, he was an exact replica of Steve.

I wonder if he knows he has a twin.

and the winner is.....

WASHINGTON DC!!!!!

It's for real. I'm moving, and so excited I think I might throw up. (Okay, maybe not. But I'm thrilled.)

a few things about me

Mainly because my blogging as of late has been BORING

Latest obsessions:

• Sushi. In particular, spicy tuna rolls
• Guacamole for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
  
• Finding fabulous deals on beautiful spring clothes

Current Entertainment:

• Reading, and lots of it
• Watching a (not so intelligent) bird fly (and crashland) repeatedly into my window. For hours on end. This has been going on for weeks now. I'm pretty sure he's brain damaged at this point.
  
• Flying around the country and being offered fabulous jobs.
• Cheesy country love songs. As usual.
• Learning juicy gossip about old friends and trying my best to keep it quiet.
  

Recent pet peeves:

• The cost of living in Washington DC
• Winter weather thinking that it has any right to show up in April, when Winter is clearly and officialy over.
  
• Changing the oil in my car. How is that ever fun or convenient?
• Stupid movies.
• The ending of Spring Break

The stuff that keeps me going:

• Knowing that I get to hang out with my nieces all summer long
• Moving!
• 28 days of school left
• My upcoming road trip
• The end.
  

bargain hunter

I realized today that sometimes, I like finding good deals on clothes better than the clothes themselves.

Like the shirt I bought from the GAP for 97 cents.
Or the sweater I bought from the GAP for $5.
Or the $100 skirt that I paid $20 for.

These are all prizes for myself for being offered such an awesome job in DC. I'm pretty sure I deserve it.

job search update

In the lead: DC. By far

Up at bat: Seattle. I'll be there Sunday through Tuesday, so they're still in the game.

Tampa lost miserably. I should have known better than to think Florida was a good idea.

please tell me there's nothing wrong

with wanting to move to Seattle just so I can drive all the way across the country with my sister on what would surely be the world's best roadtrip.

That seems like a perfectly legitimate factor on which to base a life-changing decision, right?

how i scared a very nice student

Completely unintentionally, of course. I assure you, it was all very innocent.

Elena (in a desperate attempt to distract me so I would not start class): Ms. Reed, when was the last time you plucked your eyebrows?

Me: Yesterday. I do that practically every day.

Which terrified Matthew, he having been only halfway paying attention, and therefore having heard "when was the last time you plucked", only without the P and the L. Which led him to substitute an alternative letter in their place. Yikes.

but on a brighter note

Because I really do love my job, and enjoy it even on days like this.

I gave out eight detentions in one class period today.

And they all thought it was a joke, because I wasn't yelling or mad. So they laughed a lot.

But then they found out it was not a joke after all, and were no longer laughing. But I was.

i love track season

Because I get to be at work from 7 am until 9 pm.

And work Saturdays.

And then our team sucked last night because two kids quit because they were caught having sex at school.

My job is awesome today.

this is how you know you're loved

If you're standing on a playground talking to a group of 15-year-old girls (because you teach said girls, and the baseball game you are supposed to be watching is less than exciting) and one of their friends walks up to join the conversation.

Hi. What's your name?

Well, they call me Ms. Reed.

(brief pause)

OMIGOSH!!!

My thoughts exactly...

Ms. Reed the physics teacher?!?!

That's how I'm known by some.

OMIGOSH, I have heard SO MUCH about you!! You are so awesome!

So now I am Ms Reed the Cool Physics Teacher. I'm pretty sure I'm going to make that an official title. Much like William the Conqueror or Catherine the Great, only better.

pro/con list

as requested, here are some pros and cons about each school

School #1: (Washington, DC) There is definitely a "snob factor" at this school, which can be expected since tuition is $27k per student every year. Incredibly wealthy plus incredibly privileged equals at least some amount of snobbery. However, this also means that I have an unlimited budget for labs and whatever else I want. (They recently bought the chemistry teacher a class set of brand-new laptops, just because she asked for them.) And I can deal with snobby pretty well. And I would be teaching AP Physics and Freshman Physics, which I would LOVE. It's the only school where I'd only teach physics and no chemistry. That's a plus for me.

School #2: (Washington, DC) It's a little bit farther out of the city, and pretty rural. VERY close-knit community, where I will run into my students likely on a daily basis at the grocery store and other places around town. Nice, but may be a little much for me. And the pay's not fantastic, but they said they're willing to make some adjustments if it will encourage me to accept the job. Quite possibly the most welcoming people I've ever met.

School #3: (Tampa) Cost of living is way lower, I would have a huge say in how the science department is run, and what equipment to buy for the new labs they're building, and the guy who interviewed me was very excited about me. Which is flattering. Also a very small school, but apparently pretty good, because they have some graduating seniors who have already been acceted to Yale, Brown, Princeton, and other impressive universities.

School #4: (Tacoma, WA) While I know very little about the school, Washington sounds cool. And it's gorgeous out there. I do, however, love the east coast so I'm hesitant to leave it for something I know very little about.

And there you have it. My future, in your hands.

here's your chance

Since I am so popular, and so many schools want to hire me and offer me fabulous jobs, i'm having a hard time settling on one.

So I am putting my future in the hands of my readers. (Frightening, but true.)

So here they are:
School #1: Incredibly wealthy, pays well, and I'd be teaching AP physics and regular physics. And it's just outside of Washington DC.

School #2: Not quite as much money, their technology kind of sucks, but incredibly welcoming and nice people. I'd be teaching physics and chemistry. Again, outside of Washington DC.
They liked me a lot.

School #3: Small school, in Tampa, FL. Again, physics and chemistry.

School #4: Tacoma, WA. Sounds exciting, but I know nothing about the job so far.

Browse their websites, cast your vote. Please.

it's a good thing i have no pride

Otherwise, it might bother me when my student tells me he's pretty sure my shirt went out of style in the 1850's.

or when his friend asks me where my eye patch is.

News flash: it's not a pirate shirt. It's stylish. Too bad they have no sense of style.

this weekend, i...

• interviewed for a job
• was offered said job
• did not decide whether or not to accept
• ate a fabulous steak
• hung out with my sister
  
• saw a boy trying to carry a boogie board onto the airplane. seriously.
• saw a 24-year-old girl wearing leggings say "oh, the yewsh." (as in, the usual). laughed very very hard at that
• tried to buy a knock-off Coach purse
• and that's about all
  

numbers

5-calls I have received from different schools (in the past 4 days) wanting me to interview with them
3-times I made the science department chair at my current top choice laugh during our interview
1-students to receive zero credit for any of the problems on my last test. yikes.
30 - students to receive an A on my last test
10- episodes of The Office I have watched in the past 4 days
800-dollars I had to pay to get my car fixed last week
2-days that I had my car back from the shop before the engine light came back on
30-students I bored today with my lecture on mirrors and lenses. snore. i'm pretty sure I bored myself with that one

everybody loves me

Okay, so maybe not everybody. But at least the dean of faculty at a school in Maryland loves me. Because he looked at my resume and told the science department chair that she HAD to call me today.

And so she did. And now she loves me too. Which makes me feel... loved. And flattered.

And this also means that I get to fly out for an interview, and will possibly be teaching there next year. Which makes me want to explode with happiness. Because I will be teaching honors and AP classes, and will have an enormous spending budget for labs, and my life will overall be happy.

The end.

an embarrassing confession

When I moved to Georgia, (a year and a half ago), I bought a hand mixer for those occasions when my sweet tooth got the best of me and forced me to make cookies or a cake or a pie. I used this hand mixer for the first time on Thurday, to make cookies for my physics class.

That's not the embarrassing part. Here it is: I used to pretend to like cooking. And now I (and everybody else) knows that I was living a comlpete and total lie. My integrity has been shot.

and then everything is truly better

because I get to go to my 5th period physics class, which happens to consist of the funniest group of children at our school. And within the first five minutes of class, they make me laugh so hard I cry, and then they think that I might be really crying because they did not know the answer to my question about electromagnetic waves.

but then I realize that it's all okay

Because I found a 100% cashmere designer sweater for over 75% off. So at least I will look pretty while I'm PMS-ing.

and then sometimes i am astounded at the nerve of teenaged boys

especially when they think it's appropriate to ask their female teacher if she is PMS-ing.

sometimes i hate adults

Especially when they show up to high school basketball games, and are entirely incapable of understanding that it is just a high school basketball game, and spend the evening screaming at their daughter, who just happens to be the smartest girl in our school, and also quite possibly the nicest girl on the planet, just because she missed a shot.

And that is why I sometimes hate adults. Good thing nobody can tell that I am one.

8th grade boys scare me sometimes

Especially when they walk up to me right before track practice wondering if it would be okay if they ran in their boxers if they get too hot.

And especially when I'm not sure how much the question was meant as a joke.

how i solidified one student's hatred with a click of the mouse

The Letter (written in much kinder language, but with the same general message):

Dear Mrs. Joseph's Mom,

I am writing to inform you that your son is obnoxious. His grades suck, and he's lazy. Thanks for listening!

Love,
Ms. Reed

And then it was sent. And then I realized it's Joseph's birthday. So now I suck.

and then i almost got kicked out of the indoor soccer game

The one that I was "coaching."

Just because I look 15 does not mean that I am 15.

"Um, excuse me, ref? What's the problem here?"
"We need an adult out here with these kids. Oh. Oops. I guess you are one. Sorry."

there was almost a fight in my class on friday

Until I kicked the kids out of class and yelled at them for being immature.

It was the talk of the whole ninth grade. Awesome.

sometimes i like working at a catholic school

Especially when the "Christian inspirational" speaker informs the audience of 115 15-year-olds that he is about to "lose his christianity."

Except that I have to try REALLY hard not to laugh, cause I'm supposed to be the mature adult here.

a story in which my smartest student loses all of my respect

The Story for which he will be ridiculed for the rest of the year and, if I have anything to say about it, quite possibly the rest of his life:

Matthew, the student who scored a 105 on my physics midterm, which was 13 points higher than the next highest grade and 71 points higher than the lowest grade (while taking a scantron midterm exam): "Um, I put down B for #52, but I want to change my answer to C. How do I do that?"

The response: Um, see that pink rubbery thing on the end of your pencil? Rub that over the "B". It makes the pencil mark disappear, and it's almost like you never wrote it. Pretty clever, huh?

final exam bonus

"Explain something physics related that we discussed this year that was NOT addressed on the exam."

Guess how many students did NOT answer the bonus? Way too many. That's two free points, just because I was really getting into the whole Christmas spirit idea.

And guess how many students did NOT bring a calculator to a FINAL EXAM IN PHYSICS?!? Exactly 25% of the class. But they wouldn't know that, because they didn't have a calculator!

an actual conversation

Walking out of my building yesterday. Passing by my principal.

Principal: You're going home early today! See you tomorrow.

Me: I'm not actually going home. I'm just running over to the physics room to pick up some equipment.

Principal (with oh so much tact): Oh. For a minute there I thought you were getting a, uh, you know...

Me: A life?

Him: Well. Yes.

how i was crowned queen of everything

As if there were ever any question.

And although my fifth period class has always loved me, mainly because I continuously astound them with my knowledge of physics and feed them skittles and let them show the class pictures of one-eyed cats and teach them about conversion disorder and let them sit on their desks during class (because it is a small class and they are all angels) they were not yet convinced of my stellar sense of humor.

That is, until I won the stupid joke contest.

A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says "What, is this a joke?"

Both funny and dumb at the same time. That's tough to beat.

mass of the immaculate conception

Walking the five blocks to mass in 25 degree weather with 600 teenagers = one surprisingly amusing experience.

And I must compliment the one student who convinced the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY to engage in a game called DDB, which is an acronym for something most likely inappropriate. That takes all kinds of leadership skills that I only wish I possessed. If only the game didn't involved mercilessly slugging anyone who makes the mistake of saying any word beginning with the letter "B".

And if only they remembered on their own, before I had to inform them that they would DIE if they thought for one second I was playing this game, that I am an adult and therefore do not participate in such shenanigans. But I can't really blame them, because I am so young and fun and lovable, so it's only natural for them to sometimes forget that I am an adult. Sometimes I forget too.

turns out i suck at blogging

The end.

reasons my birthday kind of sucked

• I was chewed out by an angry parent who thinks it's my fault her son turns in incomplete and completely incorrect work and is therefore failing.
  
• I stayed up entirely too late the night before and was therefore very tired and therefore overly emotional.
• My indoor soccer team lost our first game. Badly. I fail as a coach.
• There were one or two phone calls I was hoping to get, and didn't. What a let-down.
• I had already received all of my birthday presents, and therefore had no presents to open on my actual birthday.
  
• The end.
  

reasons my birthday was totally awesome

• Every single member of my family called me to wish me a happy birthday. Except for my dad. Apparently those international calls are still pretty tricky.
• Two of my classes sang me enthusiastic renditions of "Happy Birthday"
• Two of my students made me a birthday card and left it on my car windshield
• Another student made me a birthday card and wore it around like a necklace all class period
• My department bought me chocolates, flowers, and a candle. They're so nice.
• I have received countless compliments on my new boots
  

Dear "really not happy" parent,

I don't care.

Love,
Ms. Reed

FREEDOM!!!

I just finished teaching my very last class before THANKSGIVING BREAK! That means that I don't have to teach a single class, or be patient with a single teenager for an entire WEEK! And during that week when I am not dealing with teenagers or teaching classes or grading projects, I will be playing with my nieces and letting my sister cook me whatever I want to eat. (I'm nice like that.)

My last class of the day consisted of playing a game in which I make up rules as we go along and assign random points to random students. They loved it.

Here's a glimpse of how it went:

Um, sorry Drake. You're in the singing seat. You have to sing the answer if you want to get points.

Claire, roll the dice. If it's an even number, you get three points. If it's odd, the rest of the class loses a point.

Sounds pretty fair, huh? They had to answer physics questions along the way as well, which is how I justified everything. I think we'll play this game again sometime soon.

soccer team name

The Macon Love. Haha.

Only because the soccer director vetoed Macon Babies.

Charming.

moody

or, the time that a student offended me and didn't care.

Wait, that's every day.

Randy: Ms. Reed, you're acting like Ms. Coleman today.

Me: How so, Randy?

Him: Well, you're cheerful and optimistic.

Me: So you're saying I'm usually grumpy and cynical?

Him: Well, maybe.

Charming.

my many (hidden) talents that require zero talent

I'm finding out this year that I have so many talents that I've kept hidden from the world for so long.

Such as JV cross-country coach. (Note: JV Cross-country babysitter)

and Dance team moderator (Note: dance team adult supervision and operator of the CD player)

And most recently, a group of my students asked me to coach their indoor soccer team that they're playing on this winter.

I thought they were joking. They were not. Luckily, my "coaching" duties require nothing more than showing up to the games and providing adult supervision. And I am SO good at that.

it's homecoming weekend

and guess who got the privilege of chapheroning the homecoming dance?

That's right. I did.

Which meant that I spent my Saturday evening telling my students to get their tongues out of their girlfriend's mouths, and that their idea of "dancing" is just not appropriate. Joy of all joys.

And that also meant that my naive view of my students as sweet innocent children has totally gone to pot.

But on a brighter note, I got to hang out with my sister in Atlanta on Thursday. Our evening consisted mainly of sharing all the family gossip, making fun of ex-boyfriends, and drinking fancy Ritz-Carlton water. (Which, by the way, tastes no different than regular everyday water.)

parent conference

Parent: Hi, I'm Claire's mom. I just stopped by so you could reaffirm my mothering abilities by telling me how wonderful my daughter is.

Me: Um... whoa.

i found my dream job

In Baltimore. Im applying for it right now. They are looking for someone to teach freshman physics. I happen to teach freshman physics at one of the few schools in the country that teaches physics to freshmen. And they want someone who is interested in possibly teaching engineering electives in the future. (Um, also me.) So I really think they need to hire me. Thats what I told them in my letter.

If I get the job, I will:

• teach 4 sections of Freshman physics
• that is one class less than the 5 I am currently teaching
  
• move to Baltimore
• probably not have to coach JV cross country
• be the happiest girl alive

All I have to do now is write my statement of educational philosophy, in which I will basically tell them that I will fit perfectly at their school. I hope they buy it.

just a little advice for men

If you are on a date with a girl, don't tell her you think her shoes have gone out of style.

Especially if they haven't gone out of style.

a few updates, just because it's been awhile

• Cross country ended today. Hoorah!
• This means that now I can devote all of my extra time to Dance Team.
  
• I was admitted to our school's soccer game as a student last week. I informed them of their mistake and paid the full $6 adult entry fee.
  
• I let them believe I did this because I'm so incredibly honest. In reality, I was just trying to save my pride.
• Our principal finally found a long-term sub for my coworker who is out on maternity leave. This means that I am no longer responsible for teaching two classes at the same time. (And if you have never tried teaching two different subjects to two different groups of students during the same class period, let me tell you. It's not easy. Nor is it much fun.)
• I think I'm going to take a trip to San Francisco soon. With my sister.
• We are starting an egg launch project in my physics class this week. I think I'm more excited about it than some of my students are.
• I think I know what I want for my birthday from my parents. A subscription to The Physics Teacher magazine. It's expensive. But really cool.
• I think that's about it.
  

how to totally embarrass a freshman boy

While he is taking a quiz in your class, pick up his Chemistry notebook that happens to be lying on the floor next to his desk.

Begin flipping through, just to see if he's actually taking notes in your class. Discover that he IS, in fact, taking notes. Feel pretty great about that.

Notice the rather large note on one page reading "Willis is totally in love with Ms. Reed."

Tap him on the shoulder, point to the note, and walk away before he can defend himself.

how to make freshmen boys laugh really hard

While you are wearing your Banana Republic outfit with the Anthropologie necklace, tell them in a most serious way that you are a rap artist.

how to make a freshman boy almost cry

When he draws a picture of you during study hall, pretend to be offended and demand to see it.

Then tell him that you just do not find that picture very flattering and ask lots of serious questions about why he felt the need to mock you.

And then pretend that you are going to show this mocking picture to Coach Pierce, who is the one person on campus that every single student is afraid of, mostly when he is involved, it means that they are in a LOT of trouble.

Then let him stew for the last fifteen minutes of class. And every time he looks over to glare at you, smile at him because you are not so good at pretending to be angry when you are not really angry. This part is crucial. Instead of picking up on the fact that you are not really angry with him and are not going to get him into trouble, he will think that you are glad that he is in so much trouble and will possibly get suspended for drawing a stick-figure depiction of you. And this is when you think he just might actually cry.

And then when the bell rings and he approaches you asking you to please not laugh at him, then you can finally tell him this is all a joke, and that you actually found the stick-figure rather amusing. And then, since he is luckily a very funny kid, and knows perfectly well that he gives you a hard time and that you are therefore entitled to giving him a hard time occasionally, he will laugh with you.

But then you realize that this probably means that you have started a war. But you also realize that this is by far the funniest joke you have ever played on a student. And that pretty much makes you satan.

something funny

I am in charge of the dance team at our school.

Enough said.

I'll update you next month after you've stopped laughing.

sad day in georgia

I just found out that the coffee shop at which I sit and grade papers and use their free wireless internet is closing. Tomorrow is their last day open. Now where am I supposed to get free wireless internet?

And it was the location at which I made my first Macon friend. (Now, that part doesn't make me that sad, but I thought it would make me sound a little less selfish than whining about loss of free wireless internet.) But seriously, where am I going to find free internet?

I have no idea.

listen to me whine

Maybe I should have my students fill out new class evaluations. I thought we were all getting along so well, and enjoying Chemistry so much, but for some reason, within the past four days, TWO of my students have gone to the principal and told him they want to transfer out of my class because I hate them and apparently pick on them and am mean to them. Whatever. I gave them detentions. That's not that mean.

Luckily, Mr. Principal man suggested to Girl 1 that maybe if she didn't sit in the back of the class and talk to her friends and write on the lab tables, our relationship might improve. And luckily she took his advice and is now a delight in class, and no longer thinks that I hate her.

Not so luckily, Mr. Principal man told Boy 1's mother and grandmother that I would LOVE to have a conference with them to discuss the problem. And not so luckily Boy 1's mother has the same attitude problem as her son. Huh. Imagine that. So after school today, I was delighted by 45 minutes of interrogation by Boy's mother and grandmother, asking why I'm so mean to him and why I told him I don't care about him and why I yell at him and why I'm failing him. (Accompanied by rather frightening glares.) Never mind the fact that he either argues with me or flat-out ignores me every time I say ANYTHING to him, and never listens to a word I say and therefore doesn't even know what a proton is six weeks into Chemistry class. Clearly I am the problem. If I treated him with a little more respect, he would probably treat me with a little more respect. And clearly the assignment I gave, the assignment that I spent twenty minutes of class explaining, and that every other student seemed to understand perfectly well, was way too confusing and he therefore cannot be held responsible for failing. But as a consolation prize, Boy's grandma told me just how HOT Boy thinks I am. So I guess that makes it all okay?

And then I gave another Girl 2 a detention (for swearing) and she had an absolute conniption in class, I wanted to cry. Watching a student knocking ladders over and screaming and stomping around the room was just about all I could handle. Yikes. So I whined to the school counselor, cause he's a nice guy and knows Girl 1, Girl 2, and Boy 1 very well, and therefore understands my frustration. And he gave me a free t-shirt. Now my day is much better.

So in summary, it's been a long week. But on a better note, one of my students brought me donuts this morning, just because he's so nice. And Andrew is now bringing me an apple every friday, simply because teachers are supposed to like apples. And I was invited to be his best friend. And my physics students, the ones that every single teacher has warned me are so lazy and not so smart and not so polite, just turned in a set of beautiful lab reports. And they already understand Newton's laws way better than last year's students. And not a single one of them has complained about me to anyone. Can I just tell you how much I heart freshmen? I do. A lot.

Class Evaluations

Last week I was feeling brave, so I let my students fill out "class evaluations," which basically means they tell me (anonymously) their favorite and least favorite aspects of the class, what they understand the best and what is most confusing to them. This was done under the pretense that I value their opinions and want each student not only to be successful, but to enjoy the class as well. Really I knew there would be a whole lot of buttkissing going on, and it makes me feel good to have students write that their favorite part of class is me, and that there's just nothing that they don't like about my class thus far. (Um, is there some dirt on your nose? Cause it's looking a little brown.)

As expected, most of them are phenomenal buttkissers, which made me feel pretty good, they were pleased that I had asked for their opinions, and everyone left class happy. Mission accomplished. I was not, however, expecting a note with the name "Mr. Math Teacher" signed at the top with the responses "my favorite part of the class is getting to see you every day, my least favorite part is when I have ot leave, I understand that I really like you, but the one thing I don't get is why you never call."

Dear Students,

No, I am not dating the math teacher.

And no, I am not going to start dating the math teacher.

Yes, I sat next to him at the football game yesterday. And yes, we walked out of the stadium together. But that's because we just happened to arrive at the same time, and we just happened to park next to each other. I assure you it was purely coincidental.

So all those raised eyebrows and excited squeals? They can stop.

Thanks,
Ms. Reed

i'm fashionable

Or so says my student John.

But the sad part of the story is that after John told me I was fashionable, and I put my hands on my hips and told him "Thank you very much, John, I really appreciate that," poor sweet John thought I was being sarcastic. And then he got very scared and wanted to leave my class before I started yelling at him for telling me I am fashionable.

I'm not sure why anyone would ever yell at someone for calling them fashionable, but he was nevertheless very afraid. Maybe because I was in such shock that John, who is a delightful child but much more likely to make fun of me than to call me fashionable, had given me a sincere compliment that my thank-you was said in more of a tone of surprise than gratitude. But then I didn't yell, and then he was very confused and did not know what to do.

Luckily, John is very smart and knows how to use deductive reasoning and therefore concluded that since I did not yell at him I was sincerely grateful that he also me fashionable. So now guess what? John and I are "tight". That's what he told me. And that's what he told his friends at the football game when I walked by.

And that's a happy ending to a sad story.

one not-so-good thing

Having your student tell you in the middle of class that your fly is down. And finding out that it's not a joke.

a few good things

• being told that my teaching techniques are "borderline genius." I'm more prone to believe that they are beyond genius, but I'll take the compliment.
• other teachers telling me that they heard their students talking about how much they loved my class
• free laptops
• and long weekends
• and a lot of other stuff
• making fun of Ben mercilessly for showing up to the faculty party wearing the exact same shirt as his fiance. I am so glad they found each other. And so grateful for the hours entertainment found at their expense.
  

guess where i am

No, seriously. I want you to guess.

Fine. I'll tell you. I'm sitting on the floor in my living room typing on my brand-new laptop. Now, you may be wondering how I can afford a brand-new, fingerprint recognition, built-in wireless internet laptop on a teacher's salary. I'll tell you how I can afford it. I didn't pay for it. My school bought it for me, mainly because they love me a lot. And the only thing I have to do in return is use it a lot. I'm pretty sure I can do that.

i have just one question

How exactly does one end up driving west on a road that is not I-10, a road that is, in fact, so far from being I-10 that it has stoplights and pedestrian crosswalks, when one's only job for ten full hours was to drive east on I-10 without getting off?

I'm just not sure.

I think it might have had something to do with the traffic jam. The traffic jam which occupied four of the five lanes of freeway, while the fifth lane was empty due to the fact that it led somewhere that the traffic jam did not. And if everybody wanted so badly to get where the traffic jam was going, badly enough that they would remain in said traffic jam instead of occupying the empty lane, then clearly the empty lane must be leading to nothing but trouble. Kind of like when one pulls up to a toll booth, sees the green light over an empty tollbooth lane, the light which means "this lane is open", but one still pulls into the next lane, the one behind a row of six cars, because clearly there is something wrong with the empty lane.

"Huh. Nobody's going through that one. It must be broken."

And although one saw all six cars pull in right in front of you, and knows perfectly well that they are not receiving a secret message informing them of the demise that will surely come as a result of driving though the empty tollbooth lane, a secret message that you are somehow missing, even though you pulled up at the same time they did, one still avoids the empty tollbooth lane.

"How come nobody's using that one? The light's green. It's open. Idiots. Me, I'm not an idiot. I'm just not in any sort of rush. So, in order to prove that I'm not in a rush, and am so totally laid-back, and so totally selfless as to leave the empty tollbooth lane open to allow other cars to go in front of me, I will sit in this long line behind six other cars and wait patiently. That's how nice I am."

Yes. Yes. I'm pretty sure that's it. One somehow got off of I-10 going east and onto a non-freeway road traveling west because of the traffic jam. Because one, being all the way over in the left lane, the designated "fast" lane, did not want to inconvenience the other traffic jammers by cutting in front of them, even though one would surely wave the "thank you for letting me in" wave, since one obviously is aware of proper driving etiquette, just to make the poor traffic jammers jealous that one got to drive in the empty lane.

That's nice. That's very, very nice.

Dear Subconscious,

Please stop sending first day of school dreams. This is getting old.

I'm not going to forget to plan a lesson. And I'm not going to forget that school starts August 16. And I'm certainly not going to get lost trying to find the classroom.

And everybody knows that kids always behave on the first day. Even if that's the one day of the year that nobody will give me trouble, I promise you they will be nice for at least that first day.

Thanks,
Brittany

Dear Engineering Friends,

Good news. I checked Katie's and Bryan's academic calendars and GUESS WHAT!?! They have the same spring break. So guess where we're going? Atlanta.

We have two options. We can go Friday - Monday (or Tuesday) March 23-27, or Thursday - Sunday, March 29-April 1. I'll let you guys decide.

And while we're in Atlanta, we can visit:

Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site
A two-block area in memory of the famed leader of the Civil Rights movement and winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Features include the Freedom Hall Complex, Chapel of All Faiths, and King Library.

CENTENNIAL OLYMPIC PARK
This 21-acre urban landscape, the largest urban park to be developed in this country in more than two decades, was the central venue for the 1996 Summer Olympics.

Atlanta Botanical Garden
The Atlanta Botanical Garden is a beautiful exhibit of nature's glory, right in the heart of the city. A walk through the garden is a great stress reliever. There are always special events going on, including unique flowers, summer concerts, romantic jazz nights, and children's activities.

Stone Mountain Park
One of Atlanta's most recognizable tourist attractions, this huge monument to the confederacy covers 25 million square feet and rises 825 feet above the surrounding area, carved with the likeness of three confederate heroes. There is plenty to see and do, including the ever-popular laser show, holiday events, hiking, boating, fishing, and souvenir shopping.

High Museum of Art
American art at the top of the High is well worth a visit. Varied collections, beautifully displayed in stunning building.

or Atlanta's underground

...to name just a few. And we can eat at:

South City Kitchen
The culinary traditions of South Carolina's Lowcountry inspire the cooking at this cheerful restaurant. This is the place to get fried green tomatoes with goat cheese, she-crab soup, or buttermilk

Ray's on the River Seafood House
On the banks of the Chattahoochee River, Ray's on the River draws crowds, particularly for the Sunday brunch.

And then we can head down to Macon for

Cherry Blossom Festival / Local Events
Third week in March featuring the best of Southern traditions and contemporary entertainment. Attractions include hot-air balloons, arts & crafts, parades, daily concerts, dances, and amusement

Neat Museum
We really enjoyed the Music Hall of Fame - it was the first attraction we visited when my man moved to Macon. It was smaller than we expected, but packed with interesting music info about GA artists

or

www.tubmanmuseum.com


and eat

Southern Food with Gourmet Flair
i love the concept. southern food with a gourmet twist. i just felt like i could lounge and take my time. no one was rushing me. and everyone who works there was so great to talk to.

or have a

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-reviews-2980732-prod-travelguide-action-read-ratings_and_reviews-i;_ylt=ArfZDp1.I6QkHgPxywHT21fGQGoL#1
Service and food was excellent. Great pasta and the best steak my husband has ever had. Nice, romantic ambience, tucked away in downtown Macon (almost hidden).

and dessert at Bruster's.

And if we want to continue the outdoorsy/camping tradition, there is plenty of camping to do in the Northern part of the state.

So who's on board?

Dear Mom,

Would you mind sending me that National Geographic article that I was coveting from your house? Thanks. You're the best.

Love, Poodle

PS: Thanks for the outfit.
PPS: And the shoes.

Newlyweds

So last week I was reminded of the time that my brother and I won a deck of cards playing "The Newlyweds Game" at the Provo mall, and how they didn't even make us pretend to be newlyweds. (For which I am eternally grateful, because pretending to be married to your brother is jut plain wrong. Even for a deck of Tommy Hilfiger playing cards.)

And then I remembered that we won mainly because Ryan knew I had a crush on a boy named Aaron, and I knew that he was interested in a girl whose name will not be mentioned because we are all very grateful he did not end up with her. Not that there was anything wrong with her*, per se, but not ending up with her meant that he could end up with Brianna, who is not afraid to tell him what a big fat baby he's being when he tries to blame her when he loses a game of spoons.

But then I remembered that our victory was not so much attributed to the fact that we knew all details of each other's lives, but because the newlyweds all missed the easiest question on the test.

If your wife could go on a date with anyone in the world, who would it be?

Um, Matthew McConaughey? NO? ME?! You'd rather go out with me? Huh. Cause I'd kinda like to go out with Cameron Diaz.

*Okay, so maybe there were a few things wrong with her, the least of which was her fashion sense. But I'm trying to be nice here.

what to read:

The Great Starvation Experiment

I'm pretty sure it just jumped to status of very favorite book of all time. And I don't even like history. I've tried reading them, but about 98.3% of the time, they bore me. This is an exception.

So read it. And if you don't think you can afford it, I'll buy it for you for your next birthday. Or Christmas. Whichever comes first. Because you NEED it. Even more than I need that new Coach handbag that blogger won't let me post.

what to read:

The Great Starvation Experiment


I'm pretty sure this book just jumped to status of all-time favorite book. And I don't even like history books. I've tried reading them, and 98.3% of the time, they bore me.

And if you don't think you can afford it, I'll buy it for you for your next birthday. Or Christmas. Whichever comes first. Because you need it. Even more than I need this:

jealousy

One of my favorite Reed family phrase is "I totally won."

Won what?

It doesn't matter. I just won. The best ex-boyfriend stories contest, the cutest baby contest, the best ice-cream chooser contest, whatever. We love to win.

Is anybody else aware that they're in a competition? No. Does it matter? Absolutely not. Because I won.

And just for the record, I totally won the best blog contest, if for no other reason than that nobody else in my family has a blog. So in typical Reed spirit, they all went out and got themselves blogs so that they could win the newest blog contest, or the bluest blog contest, or whatever competition they secretly have going with the rest of us.

So Ashley wins the most narcissistic contest. She'd really like to thank herself for being so awesome. A definite must-read.
]
The Shade wins the naivete award. So if you'd like to read about a BYU freshman who still believes that a boy who keeps her up until 3:30 am "just talking" is "only a friend" and "just being nice", this is the one for you. It's really very sweet.

And then Mom the Bomb wins the prize for the best dance moves. You should see her shake her groove thing. Whoa.

But I'm still the original. I win. So take that!

yummy

So the other day, my brother in law pulled out a bottle of breast milk that had been tucked away in the back of the fridge. The bottle that was tucked away in the back of the fridge because he had hid it there.

Um, I'm pretty sure Mabel isn't crawling through the fridge trying to steal extra breastmilk.

But no, of course she's not. He was trying to hide it from me.

No matter what angle I approach this situation, it is not flattering to me.

Lake Tahoe

having just returned from a glorious and gorgeous trip to Lake Tahoe, I thought I'd fill you in on the adventures.

What I took with me:

one hair straightener, just in case

a library, mainly because I'm easily distracted on airplanes and require at least 10 books to keep myself entertained

a new hair color, for show-off puposes

ten t-shirts, because i'm never sure which ones I'll actually feel like wearing

What I gained in Tahoe:

the kayak surfing championship, but only after Derek taught me the proper technique. So maybe I'll split the prize with him, 50/50

lots of funny stories

the knowledge that, although almost ALL OF OUR FRIENDS BAILED on us, Katie is very reliable. Thanks, pal.

a blister

three nights with very little sleep

an easy method for making the Chemistry Day T-shirt I've been wanting, stolen from Derek's Skunk shirt

Tahoe's best breakfast, involving vanilla custard strawberry waffles which tasted suspiciously like dessert

zero hot dogs. my one regret. camping without hotdogs should be illegal.

What I brought home:

one free round-trip ticket for anywhere in the continental United States I wish to visit

two sunburn stripes, one down the front of each leg

dirt. and lots of it.

plans for next year's spring break trip to Atlanta

i'm a great mother. and very smart.

So I took Marble* to get her pictures taken at The Picture People today. I decided that I would pretend to be my sister so that they would think that I was Marble's mother, and therefore had the right to take home photos of her. And it just seemed like it would make things easier. Unfortunately, I forgot that sometimes people ask questions, and when you're pretending to be somebody else, it's sometimes hard to come up with answers to said questions. So I walk in, and the questions start.

Super helpful worker girl: So, have you been here before?

Me (as my sister): Yup.

Girl: Okay, great. What's your last name?

Me: Reed

Girl (trying to look me up in the computer): Um, okay... What's your address?

Me: We live on Westheimer. Wait, no we don't. We live on the SH Parkway.

Slightly suspicious and much less eager to be helpful girl: Er, are you sure about that?

Me: Yes. Very sure.

Girl: Alright, what's your phone number?

Slightly embarrassed me: Um, hold on. Let me look it up. It's in my phone.

Girl: You don't know your phone number?

Me: Well, you know, I've never had any reason to call myself, so... And with everybody having cell phones these days, I guess there's just no need?...

Girl: Okay, well I'm not finding it. The name's Reed?

Me (doing a pitiful job of faking my identity): Oh, wait! No, it's not. It's Peterson now. Sorry. I'm still not used to the whole name change thing. I mean, I was a Reed for 26 years, so you know... It's been a hard transition. So... Yeah. The name's Peterson. Sorry.

So I officially can never go undercover for any reason ever again. Which was a sad discovery, because I've always thought it would be really fun to go undercover and act completely different and not be at all embarrassed about it because, surprise, it's not me!

*And no, my family has not joined in the name-your-child-after-inanimate objects trend. Her real name is Mabel. And she is gorgeous.

i'm a sinner

Today during Sunday school, the teacher wrote "Honor" on the board and asked us what our first thought was when we saw the word.

My first thought: "Hey! That's Logan's sister's name on Gilmore Girls!"

Yes, my mind is definitely where it should be.

never again

I am never ever again allowed to step foot inside an Anthropologie. Their clothes are way too cute, and their sales are way too good. Sounds backwards? Yeah, I know.

And did you know that it's too hot to wear clothes in Houston?

okay, i'm finally back

And I made it to Houston in one piece. My trip involved 4 days of delays mainly because the state of Texas is impossibly slow, and a little bit because I failed to register my car when I was supposed to. (Namely, a year ago when the previous registration expired. Oops.) These four days ended in a two-hour trip to the DMV during which I tried my best not to scream when creepy DUI Philip asked me if I had a steady boyfriend in town, and if not, if I would be interested in having dinner with him sometime. He just had to ask. And I just had to say no way. I left with a newly-registered, legal-to-drive car and a brand-new status as an official Georgia Peach. (So said the super nice, not at all scary DMV worker.)

Day one of my trip involevd nine hours of driving, lots of Powerade Option fitness water, and one stop at the Mobile, Alabama IHOP to try out their new stuffed french toast. (Which, by the way, is not french toast at all. It's a donut with fruit on top.) I finally stopped for the night at a somewhat sketchy LaQuinta. And if anybody has ever wondered what it might be like to have somebody who is NOT housekeeping open the door to your hotel room at six o'clock in the morning, let me tell you, it is terrifying. If I were the kind of girl who swears, I totally would have. Instead, I acted like the composed adult that I am and hid under the covers.

So now I'm in Houston, and have spent my days playing lots of Peek-a-boo, a medium amount of making fun of Brandon, and a little bit of making fun of Bethany. I also attended one singles talent show, which involved less talent than America's Next Top Model, and made me realize that just because your mom sometimes tells you you're funny does not make you a stand-up comedian. Or a walk-around comedian. And if the walk-around comedian bit is your opening line, you should probably just go ahead and sit down. Which while a sit-down comedian may not be any more funny than a stand-up or walk-around comedian, it is much less embarrassing for everyone involved.

still stuck in georgia

and not so happy about it.

I pretty much feel like this:


But I think I'm going to buy myself some Marble Slab ice cream. That should cheer me up a bit.