sometimes...

i run out of time and forget to write.

and then I forget to email my sisters.

and then I forget to call my friends.

And sometimes freshmen are immature.

And sometimes juniors are immature. Well, maybe I should modify that to that one junior named James who happens to be in my 4th period class. The rest of them are great.

Especially the one who came into my classroom at the beginning of all of my classes today to collect money so that I can win the "lets slime a teacher" contest we're currently having. Because he really thought I would love to get slimed this Friday. He's sweet. And I got him back when I taught his pre-cal class. Hehe...

I lost $10 today....

The very $10 that was the last cash I had for the month of January. The $10 that was supposed to feed me for the next week. All because it's Monday morning and raining and my Chemistry students were tired and bored and I wanted to wake them up, so I told them if they could catch my $10 bill they could keep it. And Nick caught it. And kept it. I knew I should have only let them each try once. That's what I get for getting cocky.

But I got a free meal on Saturday, all because I answered my phone without looking at the number, and when I heard a male's voice on the other end, a male's voice that sounded shockingly similar to my friend Michael's, I assumed that it was Michael and sounded way too excited about having dinner with him. And then I realized that the voice did not, in fact, belong to Michael, but did, in fact, belong to Brad. The same Brad who has been calling me for months and once asked me "Do you like me? Cause I like you. That's why I was staring at you yesterday. So do you like me?" and made me feel like I was back in second grade. So we spent a rather uncomfortable hour eating Indian food while he commented continuously on how it was way too quiet in the restaurant, and that made him feel like he had to talk, which he just didn't like. To which I responded "well, it is 3:30 in the afternoon. Not too many people eat dinner at 3:30 in the afternoon."

The moral of the story is, check your caller ID. And never trust teenagers.

much better today

I had a rotten day yesterday, mostly due to the fact that high-school freshmen can be brats.

But then I went to my Chemistry class, with the sophomores and juniors whom I love so dearly, and Ryan informed me that he had to leave class early to go to the doctor, and that, while he was excited to get out of school early, he was sincerley sad to be missing my class. He is the best kiss-up I've had in a long time.

And then I went home and read the lab reports that my Chemistry students wrote, and found explanations such as Matt's "The decomposition was meant to show how violent decomposition reactions are. We heated some copper sulfate pentahydrate and five minutes later it turned gray," and Mikey's "We then placed 4 drops of potassium iodide solution in a watch glass, and added 4 drops of lead nitrate solution wondering what could possibly happen this time, and as soon as contact was established, it turned bright yellow. Astounding," which made me want to give them both A's, until I considered that it's probably not appropriate to use sarcasm (or run-on sentences, for that matter) in a formal write-up. So I let them build rockets today instead of discussing empirical formulas, the whole class was entirely grateful, and everyone was happy.

And my freshmen were not such brats today, mainly because I told them that if they could catch the $20 bill I dropped, they could keep it. Nobody caught it, because you'd have to have a .17 second reaction time. Which none of them do. Suckers!!

i think my brain may explode...

I've made it my lifelong goal to never stop learning. And this weekend, I kept that promise to myself.

I learned first of all just how much !FUN! it is to run into a student while shopping for bras, and debating between the pink polka-dots and the blue with peach bows. We pretended not to notice each other until I had checked out and said bras were neatly tucked away in their pink bag. I think we both handled that situation fairly gracefully.

I also learned that, just because an overhead lightbulb was only on for 30 seconds before it burned out, it is still hot enough to burn a hole right through your sweater in .5 seconds flat. And that students find that surprisingly amusing.

And that students also find it funny when you trip over their backpack and lose a shoe.

And that The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe is a fantastic movie, and if I were the type to cry in movies, I would have cried in that one.

And I think that's it.

have you missed me?

Well, I'm finally back. And if you guys haven't missed me, I can assure you that my student sure have. Sam even thought about me a couple of times while he was in the shower. I wasn't exactly sure what to think about that, but the rest of the class certainly was not at a loss for snide remarks.

I spent my week back wondering what exactly had happened to the luggage that didn't make it back to Georgia with me, staring at the phone that had died and could not be charged due to the fact that the charger was in aforementioned lost luggage, and wondering why, when my car decided to break down on my way to school, standing in the middle of the road doing my best to look helpless and pathetic did not persuade anybody to stop and help me push my car out of the intersection. It did, however, merit several dirty looks and possibly a few obscene gestures. So much for southern hospitality. I then spent the remainder of the week feeling sorry for myself that I was not in Texas long enough to see baby Mabel, trying to figure out exactly how much Ace Automotive ripped me off when they "fixed" my broken-down car, and informing them that I am not actually as stupid as I look and that, no, it is actually not okay for them to charge me to fix the parts that they broke.

At school, much of my week consisted of pretending to be impressed with Tony for having "that bad-boy thing going on." Apparently it really works for him. I also made a few chemicals explode, burned a hole in my sweater in the process, but decided it was all worth it in the end, since my students were actually excited about something we were doing.

On a brighter note, Christmas was fantastic. I briefly considered returning the adorable pink shoes I received based on practicality issues, then realized that with my wardrobe, they are quite possibly the most practical shoes I own. I'd be hard-pressed to find an outfit they don't match. The pregnant olympics were unfortunately cancelled for being referred to as the "special" olympics one too many times. Apparently pregnant women do not like to be referred to as "special." Who knew? We enjoyed a few riveting games of Taboo and Speed Scrabble, and had a good laugh when, as we were looking for something fun to do, Shawn suggested, with the utmost enthusiasm, "Hey, let's do something PRODUCTIVE!"

I'm an aunt!!!

And I'm already the favorite aunt. Obviously.

Mabel was born Monday night at 11:20, weighing in at 6 lb, 8 oz. She's adorable.

two stories

Last week in homeroom:

Chris: Ms. Reed, why do you hate Ben?
Me: I don't hate Ben. What makes you think that?
Chris: Well, you gave him a detention.
Me: No, I didn't.
Chris: Yes, you did. He had it in chorus yesterday, and was SO mad. It had your name signed on the bottom.
Me: What was it for?
Chris: For taking his clothes off during class.
Me (laughing): Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember that one. That's not from me. I promise.

Saturday at the airport:

Me: Hi. I need to check in.
Ticket counter person: Well, the computers are down.
Me: Okay... So, what do I need to do?
Ticket counter person: Well, the computers are down.
Me: Right. So....
Ticket counter person: Well, we can't pull up any of your information. But it's against FAA regulations to board a passenger without a boarding pass. So I'm just going to write your name and flight number on this piece of paper, and that'll be your boarding pass.
Me: Alright. Do you need any proof that I'm actually supposed to be on this flight?
Ticket counter person: Do you have any with you?
Me: No.
Him: Oh. Okay. Well, here's your boarding pass. Have a nice flight.
Me: Alrighty, then. Glad to see airport security is still a top priority here.

need to know

Can somebody please explain to me how a student can sit in my class all semester, try to sleep during my review session because he "already gets this stuff", tell me, when he turns in his midterm, that "gee, that was pretty easy", and then proceed to answer 3 questions correctly on the entire exam. Three. Out of thirty-one.

Three.

And one of those three happened to be the "name something you'd like to do in physics next semester" that I added on since it's the Christmas season and I was feeling in the spirit of giving.

Sometimes I just don't understand.

midterm answers

Overall, my students did well on their midterms. But sometimes they still make me laugh.

Question: A light wave coming from a point ono the left edge of the sun is found by astronomers to have a higher frequency than the light on the right side. Explain why this is, using what we have learned this semester.
Answer: You know, Miss Reed, I'm not certain

Question: A circuit has 5 resistors, A, B, C, D, and E. They all have the same voltage drop across them. Do we know what type of circuit this is? Justify your answer.
Answer: I'm pretty sure this was that hard one like from the last test, so I'm putting down the answer you told us. I really hope it's the same question!

More to come....

Happy Holidays!

Finals are over. I just have to finish grading, and I am DONE!!! And I thought I would be doing cartwheels, but I think I want to cry instead. I am so sad that I won't see my students for two whole weeks. Bummer.

But I held a study session at Barnes and Noble last night, which was entertaining for several reasons. First, Tony asked me to go to the winter formal with him. Mikey was still highly medicated from the surgery he had that morning, and didn't understand that I was actually making fun of his hot pink shirt, not complimenting it. And Collin nearly had a nervous breakdown because he was "SO going to fail tomorrow." He didn't fail.

And did you know that teachers receive a Christmas bonus?!?! Well, they do. Halleluiah for that.

some confusion

Will knows that I do not own a microwave. He also knows that I'm mormon. For some reason, he thought the two were connected.

Yesterday in class:
Will: Ms. Reed? What would happen if someone from your church bought a microwave and, like, microwaved all their food?

Me: Um, they wouldn't have a very healthy diet? Is this a trick question?

Will: Well, like, would they get kicked out of your church or something?

The last week of my life has involved much excitement. I turned 25, which, besides the fact that only ONE MEMBER OF MY FAMILY BOTHERED TO CALL ME, was a fantastic birthday. My students invited me to "the sexiest party of the year", which invitation I respectfully declined. But that was sure sweet of them.

My little sister returned from her mission on Thursday with a significantly heightened level of spirituality, but a disturbing lack of fashion sense. Don't worry, we'll fix that soon enough.

I have also received two detentions from students, one for giving difficult quizzes and one for talking during class. Right.

One of the highlights of my week, however, involved forgetting that "wo unto the liar, for he shall be thrust down to hell" is actually a Book of Mormon reference and not a bible reference, and completely confusing my students with it. And then I allowed my fourth period class to use one of the advent candles for a lab experiment. If I were a Catholic, I'd totally be going to hell. Maybe I still am.

sometimes i think my students are funny

and sometimes I don't.

Like yesterday, when I was leaning over Tony's desk helping him with a chemistry problem, and he informed me that my sweater was unbuttoned. And then I panicked because I suddenly had 6 teenaged boys staring at me and I seriously thought I was flashing all of them. But then I looked down and saw that I was wearing a sweater that came all the way up to my neck, but had flaps with buttons on them that were not really meant to be buttoned, and I realized that he was (1) making fun of my sweater, and (2) thinking that it was really funny that he made me panic.

And then Mikey wanted me to button the flaps over my head, because he thought it would look really cool.

Sure, sure. That's a great idea, Mikey.

halleluiah!

I kicked a student out of my class today. Not a good day.

But I am DONE until after Thanksgiving. I have never been so ready for a break. HOORAH!!!

for future reference

If you ever think your shower is clogged, and you keep pouring drain-o down the drain to relieve the clogging, and when that doesn't help, you call your apartment complex to come check out the problem, and call your friend to see if maybe you could borrow his shower for the night, before you do any of this, first check to make sure you haven't accidentally flipped the switch that closes the drain. It will save you a lot of embarrassment. Trust me. Because people will laugh at you. A lot. And they just might wonder how you ever made it this far in life, and you really don't want that to happen.

a bad morning

My alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. As usual. Which meant that it was still dark outside, which meant that I couldn't really see anything in my room. Which also meant that I didn't realize how close I was to the edge of the bed. Which meant that when I tried to crawl to the end of my bed to turn off the alarm, I fell off and landed flat on my head.

So then I decided that nobody should ever start their morning off by falling on their head, so I called a do-over and got right back into bed to try again. I had much better success the second time around.

But this whole experience reminded me of the time that a person I once knew was pretending to be nine years old and kept calling do-overs. But then I thought "Hey, maybe he's not pretending!"

But my do-over helped. I had a great day.

ways to irritate me

Cheat in my class.

While I'm standing two feet away from you.

Pretend you were "only joking" about the cheating.

Argue that since you hadn't actually turned the assignment in yet, it's really not cheating.

Throw a fit when I give you and the friend who was cheating with you a zero on the assignment anyway.

Glare at me all class. (Okay, so maybe I found this part slightly amusing. Because if you think that I'm concerned whether or not you like me, you are WRONG. So it's pretty funny watching you try to annoy me.)

this is my school

This is my building. My classroom is hidden behind the trees.
This is where the nuns used to live. It's now been converted into classrooms and offices.
This is the gym/cafeteria building. And the senior parking lot, with reserved spaces that parents pay up to TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS for their children to park in. (They're sold at an annual fundraising auction.)

Looks like fun, huh?

study hall

I sorely disappointed my study hall students today by:

(1) not letting them have class outside,
(2) informing them that possibly the worst thing I've ever done is skip school a couple times, and
(3) pointing out, when they thought that "she's such a little Catholic school girl" was a really clever insult, that they were all currently sitting in a Catholic school, wearing Catholic school uniforms, and doing Catholic school homework, which just might classify them as Catholic school girls.

Yes, they love me.

And then Sam wanted to hear my "wildest" high school story, to which Emily responded "well, she read this really good book once, and then told her friends about it." I think she was making fun of me. Not exactly the way to convince me that we should have study hall outside.

Staying after school for an hour to scrub my lab tables, however, is an excellent start.

more quiz answers

Question: What is lattice energy?
Answer: I don't remember talking about lettuce during class.

Question: Explain what factors affect the geometry of a molecule.
Answer: This isn't geometry class.

Question: Explain why metals can conduct electricity.
Answer: Oh, gosh. It was on the review sheet, but I just don't remember.

Question: Define ionic bonding.
Answer: Ionic is when one atom steals an electron from another. Yes, he's selfish.

Question: Write the electron configuration for the most common ion of the following elements.
Answer: I hate hard tests!

Question: Why do atoms generally form bonds?
Answer: Well, it has something to do with chemistry, I think.

Question: Draw the Lewis Structure for the following molecules
Answer: I need to think of something funny to say so you'll be in a good mood when you grade this.