it's over

Today is officially my last day teaching this year. Sad.

And here's a picture one of my students took during physics while she was supposed to be listening:

what to read:

Feed: And not just b/c it rhymes. B/c it'll, like, make u lol. And then it might def. make u cry. Well, it didn't make me cry, but books don't have that effect on me. That would just be like totally mal if they did.

The Mermaid Chair: Very well written, and worth reading, even though the main character annoyed me the entire book. Just so she knows, there is NO EXCUSE to cheat on your husband. Ever. I don't really care if you need to discover your true inner self, and have some hidden depths that have yet to be explored and blah blah blah. It's horomones. And possibly a mid-life crisis. Nothing more. Get over it. But the ending was perfect.

my mom

My mom is like a postage stamp. She sticks to one thing until she gets there.

No, I didn't come up with that on my own. I stole the quote from Josh Billings.

Who's Josh Billings, you ask?

I have no idea, I answer.

not to brag or anything,

actually, that's a lie. the sole purpose of this post is to brag.

Last night, I received the following email from one of my students:

Ms Reed...i just want to tell you that it has been a delight to have been in your chemistry class this year...i really feel that i have actually learned some stuff...but its been really fun...probably my favorite class/ teacher...and sorry i havent really been doing much work lately...but i have just got really lazy and tired of school...but i'm kinda still trying...haha sorta...but anyways i'll see u in class...bye ms reed...:-)

enough said.

happy chemistry day!

6:30. Get home. Take a nap.

8:30. Hear the doorbell ring. Wonder who it is. Go to the door and look out the peephole. Recognize Collin, one of my students. So I open the door.

me: Collin, you have GOT to be kidding me.
Collin: I am not kidding Ms. Reed. Here, take this. He hands me a bag. It's heavy.
Me: What is this?
Collin: It's CapriSuns. For class tomorrow. And a cake. He holds out a bakery box. I look inside and notice that it has "Happy Chemistry Day!" written on it. I jump with exitement. (It was maybe more of a skip, but whatever.)
Me: Oh, my gosh, it says Happy Chemistry Day! That is so great! I'm not even annoyed about being wooken up anymore. Woken up. Whatever. I'm excited.
Collin: Right. I don't have room for this in my fridge, so you'll have to put it in yours. And by the way, where have you been? We have knocked on every door in this building looking for you. We knocked on Mr. Math Teacher's door. We thought you were, like, on a date or something.
Catherine: (With eyebrows raised, waving her hands back and forth.) Yeah, we thought that you two were, like, you know.....
Me: Um, no. He lives underneath me. But that's another story.*
Collin: Okay, so bring the cake to class tomorrow and we'll eat it. To celebrate Chemistry day. Now go back to sleep.

And I'm still so excited that the cake actually says "Happy Chemistry Day" I don't even mind that he's bossing me around.

*The other story: Two months ago, my principal came into my classroom and started making small talk. Which he's not very good at. And then he mentioned that they just hired a young, single male math teacher, who is apparently just SO nice. Really, so nice. And he was so sure that we would get along just great. So would I mind, you know, making him feel welcome? And, by the way, Dr. Principal recommended that he move into my apartment complex. Hooray. So now he lives underneath me.

why, oh, why

Would you ever name your child:

Coco: Do you want her to grow up to be a hooker?

Bambi: see above.

Rainy: anything dealing with weather is just wrong.

Cook: Now, I realize that the term "bun in the oven" is kind of cute (kind of), but that's taking it just one step too far.

Gray: we have at least three at our school. Is that how he makes you feel? Poor, poor child.

Dear Seniors,

Goldfish in the toilets? Seriously? You can come up with a better sernior prank than that.

Much Disappointment,
Ms. Reed

funny stories

My physics students recently turned in a project in which they explained the physics behind a sport of their choice. One student did a track and field manual, and, while explaining the rules of the javelin throw, stated that "the javelin must have at least an 800 gram mass", but accidentally left of the "m" in the word "mass". I'm still laughing about that. So I wrote back "wow, my mass is way bigger than 800 grams." I hope he appreciates my joke.

Then we were learning about heat of vaporization in Chemistry, and I told my students about when I was hiking, and one of the boys in the group took his shirt off, got it wet, and wrapped it around the water bottle. And after a few minutes, the water in the bottle was cool.
Chris: Ms. Reed, you saw a boy without his shirt on.
Me: Yeah, I felt kind of dirty.
Followed by about five minutes of laughter.

And then in physics:
Me: Hey, do you guys want to hear a funny story?
Them: Ooh, yeah!
Me: So, I was reading this book last night, and...
And then they started laughing.
Me: Um, guys, that's not the funny part.
Them: Yes, it is.
Jerks.

And then I read a book called Feed, and the kids in the book remind me SO much of my students. Like the conversation taking place after a couple breaks up:
Her: I never want to see you again!
Him: Yeah? Okay. Then get some special goggles or something!