Spring Break

In exactly 5 hours and 26 minutes, I will officially be on

SPRING BREAK!!!

And if you're a student,

And you think you're excited for spring break,

You have

NO IDEA

Because, as much as I LOVE my students,

I need a vacation in a BAD WAY.

And just so you know, today I played tag with my physics class and taught my Chemistry students how to play spread eagle. Which I'm pretty sure makes me, like, the coolest teacher ever. Not to brag or anything, but seriously, who would not want to be in my class? (Don't answer that.)

so much stuff

Everything you've always wanted to know about me, but have never thought to ask. Posted mainly because Heather said all kinds of flattering things about me, and everybody knows that flattery is really the best way to get what you want. If only my students could figure that out, we'd all be much happier. And if someone could inform them that I AM way more entertaining than your high school science teacher, that would be fantastic as well.


Five Movies You Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Charly. I think that might be embarrassing enough to cover all five. And just so Wendy knows, we're watching it EVERY DAY over spring break.
2. Centre Stage
3. Bandits
4. Danny Deckchair
5. Cinderella Man

Five embarrassing Songs that You Know All the Words To:
1. Um, every cheesey song ever written?
2. "Love Shack" by the B-52's
3. "Everything I do I do it for you" by Bryan Adams
4. "Wind Beneath my Wings"
5. I think I embarrassed myself enough with Charly, so I'll stop there.

Five Memorable Halloween Costumes:
1. A dice. age 7
2. Poodle, age 23. (and just so you know, I passed for a 12-year-old in that thing)
3. Tiger, age 4
4. Rainbow Brite, age 5
5. Student, age 25

Five Celebrities You Believe May Secretly be Alien:
1. TomKat (I'm pretty sure they count as one these days)
2. Mary Kate Olsen/Ashley Olsen
3. Nicole Richie
4. Mariah Carey
5. Hanson. All of them.

Five Occupations that You Know You Could Never Do:
1. Engineer. Six years studying the profession was enough for me.
2. Middle school teacher. Good thing I teach high school.
3. High-school principal. Nobody takes me seriously enough.
4. Circus Trainer. That's just wrong.
5. Did I mention engineer? Dating one was more than enough for me.

Five Books You've Recently Read Outside of Schoolwork:
1. Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis
2. The Namesake, Jhumpa Lahiri
3. The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis
4. Memoirs of a Geisha, Arthur Golden
5. What Does It Mean to be Well-Educated, Alfie Kohn

Five Ways to Perfectly Spend an Afternoon:
1. Napping
2. Reading in bed
3. At a high school baseball game with a picnic
4. Traveling somewhere new
5. Hiking

Five Lines You Blatantly Stole From a Movie, TV, a Commercial, or Song:
1. "Sore" As in, "and they were sore afraid." From the bible. Is it a good idea to steal from the bible?
2. "Nobody wins slamming doors." From the song, Nobody Wins Slamming Doors
3. "When you sing, it brings sunshine and happiness into my heart." About a Boy (I'm not sure I really say that so much, but it makes me laugh to think about it.)
4. "I guess you were right. The Bluebonnets were worth the drive." From some song that I can't remember the name of.
5. "I'm seeing someone. She doesn't know I see her, but I see her." Centre Stage

Not Your 5 Favorite Foods, But the 5 You're Most Likely Eating:
1. Chicken Nuggets
2. English muffin with peanut butter
3. Gumbo
4. a box of junior mints
5. Cold cereal, no milk

Five People Who Must Immediately Respond:
1. Katie, who is making me crazy jealous by going to London for spring break
2. Wendy, who is not nearly as boring as her library status may make her sound
3. Bryan, because he'll have more than enough to say
4. Genius, because she knows Chemistry (and because I'm running out of people I know)
5. Stef, because she made it to Utah

what NOT to ask your teacher

Listed in no particular order:


Ms. Reed, are you pregnant?

Are you ever planning on having kids? Because if you are, don't you think you're a little behind?

Now, I know you're talking about stuff, but are we supposed to be learning it?

What are you doing this weekend? Cause I'm having people over to our hot tub.

Did your boyfriend just dump you or something? Cause you're kind of grumpy today.

Happy Birthday Al

Yesterday was Albert Einstein's birthday. And, as is absolutely necessary in science classes, we made ice cream to celebrate. Because science class just wouldn't be the same without him.

Happy 127-th!

wet

We had our first track meet on Thursday, which went very well despite the other coaches making fun of me for wearing black dress pants.

And despite the fact that one little girl wet her pants during her race. Even after I told her that it was not a good idea to wait until after the race, and that it would not encourage her to run faster, but just make her uncomfortable. And even after I told her horror stories about girls from another school who had "accidents" during their events. But she did cut 30 seconds off of her mile, so she may have been right about the running faster idea.

dear parents,

i am not a liar I'M NOT!!!!!
So if your child tells you one story, and it differs somewhat from MY story, just remember.
I AM NOT A LIAR!Especially if your child is failing my class.
And the story HE told you was that I am trying my best to fail him.
By giving him a zero for an assignment that he turned in.
GAAAH!
Chances are, he's making up excuses (ie, LIES) about why he is failing my class.
That's what logic would tell us, anyway.
But apparently we don't all take logic into account.
Because we would prefer to believe that our child is perfect.
Right.

Right.

But just so you know, I'm NOT BUDGING!
Even if you think I'm lying.
And evil.

So you're not helping his grade.
But you are getting on my nerves.

A LOT.


Thanks,
Ms. Reed

sad

One of my students came into my room this morning to ask if he could have an extension on his lab report because his mom threw him out of the house last night. It made me want to cry.

jealousy

Today during class, I told a story about my friend and her boyfriend.

Ryan's response: Are you just jealous that she has a man and you can't get one?

Very funny, Ryan.