wish list

Just in case anyone out there is really dying to send me a gift, here's what I would like (in no particular order):

- An explanation as to why freshmen still think it's funny when the whole class drops their pens at the same time.

- And an explanation as to why said freshmen are seriously surprised when I kick the instigators out of my class.

- And why teenagers still don't get that I understand their sexual innuendos.

- And a poster of Einstein. (It's his birthday on the 14th)

- And a new drinking duck, since one of my students broke mine.

- 2 extra hours in each day

- A physical chemistry textbook

- A case of Powerade Option

- The Louis Vitton handbag that Collin offered to buy me when he saw that my bag is broken

- A trip to visit my nieces (I now have TWO)

- And a nice man certainly would be appreciated.

Thanks.

i'm feeling much better, thanks

And my 4th period class was very glas to see me back and no longer sick yesterday. And luckily, they know me well enough by this point that when they asked me what had made me sick, and I responded, "a hangover", they realized just how funny of a joke that was. Not necessarily appropriate, but very very funny.

And I had my official "how is the school year going, do we want you to come back next year" meeting with the headmaster yesterday. And she told me I've made one of the smoothest transitions into teaching she's ever seen, and offered me a job for next year. So I celebrated by buying myself a blended rootbeer float to celebrate.

Yesterday was also my very first track practice. It mainly involved showing up late because I was not informed that we meet in the fieldhouse at the beginning of practice, and not the track, and then a lot of yelling at kids to run faster, pretending not to feel bad when I made kids throw up, and making them run extra laps for whining. All in all, we had a very enjoyable time.

And in more exciting news, I'm going to a science teacher's conference tomorrow, and, as much as I'd like to believe my students will miss me dearly, they are anticipating my absence since I am leaving a movie for them to watch while I'm gone.

That's it.

Tidbits

I'm the new JV Track coach at our school, which basically means I babysit the younger kids while the real coach trains the varsity runners, but still. They gave me my very own whistle and stopwatch and clipboard, which makes me feel very official and bossy, so I signed up for the job. Plus, I think I get a free track shirt.

I threw up during my 4th period class yesterday and had to go home early. I think this may be the 2nd time in my life I've gone home sick. The first was when I was in first grade and had the chicken pox and my mom told me I couldn't go to school, but I ran out the front door and all the way to school anyway. They made me leave.

On a not-so-happy note, my friends apparently have been planning a trip to Lake Tahoe and forgot to include me in the email exchange! Grrr.... Well, then, I'll plan a trip to Europe for myself, thankyouverymuch. But I can't really be mad, because I'm pretty sure most of them were unaware of their folly. Most.

I'm learning Organic Chemistry, which is way more fun than it may sound. And I totally aced the first quiz.

some fools never learn

or, how to annoy me.

Sometimes I have way too much faith in people, and their ability to just figure things out. Like the woman who called me twenty times in one day, thinking that it was her daughter's number. And then three days and two pleasant "I am not your daughter, you must have the wrong number" conversations later, she still has not figured out that she wrote down THE WRONG PHONE NUMBER!!! Instead, she keeps reading back to me MY phone number, and telling me how funny that is that her daughter and I have the exact same number, and isn't that a coincidence?

Which would be fine, if she hadn't decided, at 11:00 pm, to begin calling EVERY. TWO. MINUTES. Because maybe if she called enough times, the call would magically be transferred to somebody's phone besides mine. It wasn't.

dear anonymous poster:

otherwise known as brother.

I emailed you last!! So there.

Love, Poodle

i am clearly playing favorites

We played a review game in my physics class today, since they have a test on Monday, and I thought it would be more interesting than going over review problems all class.

The rules of the game are as follows, and were explained at the beginning of class:
1. The class should break up into 5 groups of 4 students each.
2. I will read a question out loud, only once, and then the teams will race the see who can come up with the correct answer first.
3. When the team agrees on a correct answer, they ring the bell. The answer must be written down, units must be labeled, and it has to be completely correct or they will not receive any points for the problem. If even the sign is incorrect, I will move on to the next team.
4. The team with the most points at the end of the period wins a prize.

Sounds like fun, right?

Well, it was. For me, at least. But one particular group of boys had failed to listen to the instructions at the beginning of class. And they kept getting the wrong answers. Or ringing the bell before their answer was written down. So they kept not getting points.

So then they quit. And slammed their books on the table. And informed me that they are "the smartest people in the class", but I just don't like them. And pouting, sulking, glaring, and muttering complaints under their breath.

Seriously, if I weren't laughing so hard, I would have kicked them all out of class.

Freshmen.

Ms Reed's Class Policies

1. Kissing up is perfectly acceptable behavior. It is, in fact, highly encouraged. You are in school to develop not only your intellctual capacity, but a character that will allow you to succeed in the future. And seriously, who has ever become very successful without learning the fine art of buttkissing.

2. Never interrupt my class with a comment that begins, "So, on this cartoon I used to watch...."

3. If you are going to eat in my class, it better be something I like, and you'd better be willing to share.

4. If you make fun of me, I'll make fun of you.

5. If you are trying to convince me to spend my evening grading the lab report that you turned in late, just so you will no longer have a zero for it, and therefore can possibly get out of being grounded this weekend, I would suggest not starting your argument with "Well, you don't party and you don't have a TV, so what better do you have to do..."

6. If I am speaking sternly to one of your classmates, don't tell jokes that will make me laugh. I lose all credibility when that happens.

7. Don't think that I"m too old to understand sexual innuendos. I know what all those words mean. Don't use them in my class.

8. When you ask me what we're doing in class today, and my response is "having fun," I'm not being sarcastic. I really do think Chemistry is fun. And so should you.