sometimes i think my students are funny

and sometimes I don't.

Like yesterday, when I was leaning over Tony's desk helping him with a chemistry problem, and he informed me that my sweater was unbuttoned. And then I panicked because I suddenly had 6 teenaged boys staring at me and I seriously thought I was flashing all of them. But then I looked down and saw that I was wearing a sweater that came all the way up to my neck, but had flaps with buttons on them that were not really meant to be buttoned, and I realized that he was (1) making fun of my sweater, and (2) thinking that it was really funny that he made me panic.

And then Mikey wanted me to button the flaps over my head, because he thought it would look really cool.

Sure, sure. That's a great idea, Mikey.

halleluiah!

I kicked a student out of my class today. Not a good day.

But I am DONE until after Thanksgiving. I have never been so ready for a break. HOORAH!!!

for future reference

If you ever think your shower is clogged, and you keep pouring drain-o down the drain to relieve the clogging, and when that doesn't help, you call your apartment complex to come check out the problem, and call your friend to see if maybe you could borrow his shower for the night, before you do any of this, first check to make sure you haven't accidentally flipped the switch that closes the drain. It will save you a lot of embarrassment. Trust me. Because people will laugh at you. A lot. And they just might wonder how you ever made it this far in life, and you really don't want that to happen.

a bad morning

My alarm went off at 5:30 this morning. As usual. Which meant that it was still dark outside, which meant that I couldn't really see anything in my room. Which also meant that I didn't realize how close I was to the edge of the bed. Which meant that when I tried to crawl to the end of my bed to turn off the alarm, I fell off and landed flat on my head.

So then I decided that nobody should ever start their morning off by falling on their head, so I called a do-over and got right back into bed to try again. I had much better success the second time around.

But this whole experience reminded me of the time that a person I once knew was pretending to be nine years old and kept calling do-overs. But then I thought "Hey, maybe he's not pretending!"

But my do-over helped. I had a great day.

ways to irritate me

Cheat in my class.

While I'm standing two feet away from you.

Pretend you were "only joking" about the cheating.

Argue that since you hadn't actually turned the assignment in yet, it's really not cheating.

Throw a fit when I give you and the friend who was cheating with you a zero on the assignment anyway.

Glare at me all class. (Okay, so maybe I found this part slightly amusing. Because if you think that I'm concerned whether or not you like me, you are WRONG. So it's pretty funny watching you try to annoy me.)

this is my school

This is my building. My classroom is hidden behind the trees.
This is where the nuns used to live. It's now been converted into classrooms and offices.
This is the gym/cafeteria building. And the senior parking lot, with reserved spaces that parents pay up to TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS for their children to park in. (They're sold at an annual fundraising auction.)

Looks like fun, huh?

study hall

I sorely disappointed my study hall students today by:

(1) not letting them have class outside,
(2) informing them that possibly the worst thing I've ever done is skip school a couple times, and
(3) pointing out, when they thought that "she's such a little Catholic school girl" was a really clever insult, that they were all currently sitting in a Catholic school, wearing Catholic school uniforms, and doing Catholic school homework, which just might classify them as Catholic school girls.

Yes, they love me.

And then Sam wanted to hear my "wildest" high school story, to which Emily responded "well, she read this really good book once, and then told her friends about it." I think she was making fun of me. Not exactly the way to convince me that we should have study hall outside.

Staying after school for an hour to scrub my lab tables, however, is an excellent start.

more quiz answers

Question: What is lattice energy?
Answer: I don't remember talking about lettuce during class.

Question: Explain what factors affect the geometry of a molecule.
Answer: This isn't geometry class.

Question: Explain why metals can conduct electricity.
Answer: Oh, gosh. It was on the review sheet, but I just don't remember.

Question: Define ionic bonding.
Answer: Ionic is when one atom steals an electron from another. Yes, he's selfish.

Question: Write the electron configuration for the most common ion of the following elements.
Answer: I hate hard tests!

Question: Why do atoms generally form bonds?
Answer: Well, it has something to do with chemistry, I think.

Question: Draw the Lewis Structure for the following molecules
Answer: I need to think of something funny to say so you'll be in a good mood when you grade this.

Quiz answer

"The electrons feel up the orbitals"

My response: Um, really? That's interesting...

comments made by students

Tony: Um, Ms. Reed? Is there such thing as plaigarism on a quiz?
Uh, is there something you want to tell me, Tony?

Josh (when, five minutes before class ended, he had only answered one question on his quiz, because he clearly did not study and was not prepared): I'll just come in tomorrow morning and finish it.
Yeah. Right.

Spurgeon (as the answer to quiz question #3): Come on, Ms. Reed, this is so obvious. You've explained it so many times.
Well, halleluiah, someone's been listening to me!! Maybe you should share that answer with Josh.

Spurgeon (on the way to St Joseph's for mass): Ms. Reed, I can't walk any farther. It is too hot out here.
Me: Well, then take your coat off, Spurgeon.
Spurgeon: I can't take this jacket off. It's POLO.
And no, he was not joking.